Moving Away After Divorce With Kids?

Life after divorce is seldom without challenges.  When one parent needs to relocate out of state or even country, it can open up a brand new set of problems.  

Just when your parenting plan was beginning to feel comfortable, so many times people suddenly face major changes after divorce.  Your carefully crafted rules of visitations are out the window. Co-parenting long distance is nearly impossible; and the equal time designations will have to swiftly be reconfigured.  For divorced or separated parents, relocation is much more complicated. Your move may have a big impact on your child custody or visitation rights. In fact, a court could even stop you from moving at all unless you give up that routine parenting time you have with the children.

A new job that whisks you away to a new state or even a new country may very well be in the best interest of the children, financially, and the court will support a move that is to better all of your lives.  

Going to “get away” is less favorable to the court.  Perhaps you want a change of scenery, fresh start or perhaps to move back to the childhood neighborhood you left years ago. You may not realize it, but the fate of your move may already be sealed, long before you pack the first box or even mention the move to your ex-spouse. Check your divorce or child custody decree for any travel restriction on either parent's ability to move the child beyond a specified geographical limit. Travel restrictions are common, and they're usually worked out between the parents during the divorce.

During mediation, the parents have the help of an expert facilitator, the mediator, in resolving these changing circumstance challenges. A skilled mediator can assist parents to face and discus all the terms that will have to be changed when one of the parents move away.  Then the mediator prepares the terms changes to be submitted to court as a new order. 

Whether you are the mother or the father that is moving, mediation is great way to expedite your parenting time changes.  In a recent case, a Father was transferred out of state by his employer, and realizing what his chances were for uprooting teenaged children were, he sought mediation to secure all the additional time he could have when the kids were on school breaks.  WHYmediate secured new parenting time for both with more time on holidays and summer for the move-away parent.  A video and audio chat schedule was also outlined to ensure the parent-child bond stays in tact. 

Relocation mediation is an expedient process to help parents reach a new real terms based on real schedules and real financial concerns for both parents. Child custody, now in Arizona called Primary Parenting Time and Primary Decision Making, mediation differs from the more conventional litigated custody dispute in nearly every respect. Whereas, typical attorney representation involves litigation that most people are perhaps more familiar with, each party retains an attorney to go to court to "fight" on their behalf in an effort to "win" custody of their children. This archaic adversarial process is founded on the old fashioned concept of fighting, combat, winning and losing.

Relocation mediation, on the other hand, is a process in which the parents choose a mediator, often a skilled and experienced child custody attorney, who works with both parents in an effort to assist them in reaching an agreement on issues relating to custody of their children. It is the parents who retain control over the process and over the decisions that are reached. In the litigation model, the court is often used as a forum within which parents fight against each other rather than work together.

Your next step can be a simple phone call to us at 480-777-5500.

At WHYmediate?, Find out why mediation will allow you to resolve many different types of conflicts in a positive learning environment that covers how to deal with all the upcoming days in your life.

WHYmediate? Mediation Services
4500 South Lakeshore Drive Suite 300 
Tempe, AZ 85282 
(480) 777-5500
http://whymediate.solutions

Mediation For the Female Prenuptial Agreement

If I say “Prenup” is the first thing that comes to mind, an image of a male? Not surprising as it is with most people. It is common to think of protecting the assets of a male from the clutches of a conniving female. Are you aware that it is just as likely for the assets of the female in a new marriage to be at risk?

Every prenuptial agreement is, by definition, a negotiated agreement and the manner of negotiation makes a difference, too. It is no secret that negotiated agreements have much higher compliance rates than court orders. Every experienced family law attorney has heard somebody challenge an agreement that they signed, on the grounds that they "just signed the agreement their attorney put in front of them," or "didn't understand what they were signing." This type of complaint is much less likely to arise if the client has a significant role in negotiating the specific terms of the agreement. Unlike lawyer-to-lawyer negotiation, the mediation process helps ensure that you and your spouse-to-be are active participants in the negotiations and are fully aware of what you are signing. Thus, in the event of a divorce, you will both be that much more likely to comply with the terms of the agreement, rather than attempt to contest your agreement.

No one wants to cast a legal veil over their wedding day. Once you understand the factors that go into preparing a valid and enforcable prenuptial agreement, and realize the potential pitfalls of lawyer-to-lawyer negotiation, the benefits of a mediated prenuptial agreement will become quite clear. Mediation is a chance for you and your spouse-to-be to determine the provisions of your prenuptial agreement together, demonstrating to each other the same kind of mutual respect and understanding that you hope to carry with you through your upcoming marriage.

The modern secular prenuptial agreements that exist in the United States can be traced back to sixteenth-century England.  From these historic roots, the modern “prenup” has a basic focus for two people about to marry:  setting forth the rights of each person in the property of the other should they later divorce.

Please remember that no matter how Happy the Beginning 50 percent of all marriages don't have Happy Endings.  Your next step for your mediated prenuptial agreement can be a simple phone call to us at 480-777-5500.

At WHYmediate?, Find out why mediation will allow you to resolve many different types of conflicts in a positive learning environment that covers how to deal with all the upcoming days in your life.

WHYmediate? Mediation Services
4500 South Lakeshore Drive Suite 300 
Tempe, AZ 85282 
(480) 777-5500
http://whymediate.solutions

What Do Mediation and Valentine’s Day Have in Common?

Happy Valentine’s Day … those words either bring smiles to people’s faces or sadness to their hearts … at least that is the way it seems. There is even a move to call it Singles awareness Day.

We fully understand the joy and sadness that seems to surround this day. In fact, this is called by some “Break-up Day” as well as many relationships to come to a head at this time.

The name "Valentine" (Valentinus), derived from the Latin “valens” (worthy, strong, powerful), was popular in Late Antiquity (a period between the second and eighth centuries).  Of the Valentine whose feast is on February 14, nothing is known except his name and that he was buried at the Via Flaminia (an ancient Roman road) north of Rome on February 14, 269.

While he is well known as Saint Valentine, he is not officially recognized as a saint by the Catholic Church anymore. The Saint Valentine who is celebrated on February 14 remains in the Catholic Church's official list of saints (the Roman Martyrology), but, in view of the scarcity of information about him, his commemoration was removed from the General Calendar for universal liturgical veneration, when this was revised in 1969.

According to the National Retail Federation, Americans are expected to spend more than $15 Billion this Valentine's Day.

If we cut the approximately 300 million people in the US down to 200 Billion (taking out children and the very elderly) and divide the $15 Billion by the 200 million that means that each person will spend on average $75.00 each to reach that figure.  If only 100 million of us exchange Valentine’s Day gifts the average is $150.00 a person.

But for the well-being of ourselves and our relationships, “Will you be my Valentine?” is the wrong question. Instead, the more important question to ask yourself is “Should you be my Valentine?”

Relationships can be one of the most important sources of happiness in your life, with social connections serving as a key provider of happiness and meaningfulness. Not surprisingly, human beings have a very powerful drive to form and maintain relationships. After all, the future of humankind depends on people coupling up to conceive and raise the next generation. Because forming relationships is such a powerful motivator, being in any relationship can seem better than being alone. A variety of factors can lull us into relationship complacency – compatibility, friendship, shared interests, inertia, fear of being single or low expectations. The drive to be paired off may lead you to settle for the relationship you have, instead of the relationship you deserve.

At WHYmediate?, Find out how mediation can allow you to resolve many different types of conflicts that can occur around Valentine’s Day in a positive learning environment that covers how to deal with all the upcoming days in your life.

WHYmediate? Mediation Services
4500 South Lakeshore Drive Suite 300 
Tempe, AZ 85282 
(480) 777-5500
http://whymediate.solutions

Divorce Arizona Mediation Style

Mediation and other forms of alternative dispute resolution (ADR) grew rapidly in the last few decades as a result of high divorce rates, frequent conflicts between parting parents, the resulting administrative burden on courts, and especially concerns about damaging effects on children and post-divorce family relationships. This bog touchs on our longitudinal research involving randomized trials of mediation and adversary settlement to support the conclusions that mediation can:  settle a large percentage of cases otherwise headed for court; possibly speed settlement, save money, and increase compliance with agreements;  clearly increase party satisfaction; and most importantly, lead to remarkably improved relationships between nonresidential parents and children, as well as between divorced parents, even twelve years after dispute settlement. The key “active ingredients” of mediation are likely to include:  the call for parental cooperation over the long run of co-parenting beyond the crisis of separation, the opportunity to address underlying emotional issues (albeit briefly), helping parents to establish a businesslike relationship, and the avoidance of divisive negotiations at a critical time for family relationships. 

We follow the research on mediation and other forms of ADR, as well as a renewal of the excitement and optimism of the “first generation” of mediators, qualities that are “active ingredients” in any successful social or psychological intervention.

The ultimate aim of divorce mediation is to produce settlement agreements. Once ratified by the court, these agreements are legally binding and extremely difficult to modify. Courts assume that everyone is adequately equipped to mediate and, with increasing frequency, order litigants into mediation. Nonetheless, commentators have acknowledged that at least occasionally, a party may be unable to proceed. Currently, no standard exists for determining when a party lacks sufficient understanding and ability to participate in mediation, yet the legally binding outcomes of mediation are too important to leave a determination of competence up to chance. In this article, the authors propose a new legal standard, with a basis in current law and policy, for competence to participate in mediation.

At WHYmediate? Our process helps people resolve conflicts and re-create relationships. Mediation is a conflict resolution process – a smart alternative to going to court, saving time, money, energy, stress and paperwork. You will walk away with an in-depth understanding of how to best address communication with the other party. Better mutual understanding can lead to current and future resolution!

At WHYmediate?, Find out why mediation will allow you to resolve many different types of conflicts in a positive learning environment that covers how to deal with all the upcoming days in your life.

WHYmediate? Mediation Services
4500 South Lakeshore Drive Suite 300 
Tempe, AZ 85282 
(480) 777-5500
http://whymediate.solutions

Are You A Football Widow?

First we need to define what it means to be a football widow. Noun. A woman who must cope with the temporary death of her relationship during football games. With the big game moments away this might not be the time to bring up this situation with your spouse. But, we can feel your pain.

Does football season turn your usually loving man into someone you hardly recognize? Does game day have him sequestered in the living room, eyes glued to the plasma, with his hot wings and beer, and the remote tightly clutched? 

Football season can take its toll on relationships. For some, the kickoff of football season is a wondrous thing. It means that fall is here and, on both the professional and collegiate levels, the football has returned. What teams will make it to their respective championships? How will the new recruits and first-round draft picks do? For other couples, football season entails feeling left out, rejected, angry and resentful. The term "football widows" was coined to describe how women feel when their men park themselves in front of the TV or leave for the stadium for — what feels like — the whole weekend.

The rest of the week is spent watching highlights from those two days. Fortunately for everyone, there are additional cable channels available so that he can see EVERY game and EVERY highlight and replay. Of course there are the news shows that are dedicated to endless talks about the players and what is going on, both on and off the field. 

Yes, it is almost over for this year. Yes, depending on the outcome it could be talked about for many more days but the screen goes dark soon.  Does your “other” also participate in Fantasy Football as well? Do you have problems with any gambling issues related to his football addiction? Does this add up to a deal breaker in your relationship? 

Consider mediation as part of your solution if you feel your relationship is irretrievably broken. Do you have problems with any gambling issues related to his football addiction? Does this all add up to a deal breaker in your relationship? 

At WHYmediate?, Find out why mediation will allow you to resolve many different types of conflicts in a positive learning environment that covers how to deal with all the upcoming days in your life.

WHYmediate? Mediation Services
4500 South Lakeshore Drive Suite 300 
Tempe, AZ 85282 
(480) 777-5500
http://whymediate.solutions

Using Mediation For Your Annulment

First, what is an annulment?  An annulment differs from a Divorce, a court order that terminates a marriage, since it is a judicial statement that there was never a marriage. A divorce, which can only take place where there has been a valid marriage, means that the two parties are no longer Husband and Wife once the decree is issued. An annulment means that the individuals were never united in marriage as husband and wife. Various religions have different methods for obtaining a church divorce, or annulment, but these procedures have no legal force or effect upon a marriage that complied with the requirements of law. Such a marriage must also be legally annulled.

You might ask if you can use mediation to get an annulment. An annulment can be granted if strict requirements are met.  While it is not a commonly used method for ending a marriage you can use mediation to achieve your result.

Mediation will save you money, time, aggravation, and stress plus give you more control over your annulment.  You will also have the liberty of talking about things that a judge may not even have the authority to discuss!  The private mediation process is so much more flexible and informal that folks can communicate better. When you add our WHY discovery process to the mediations steps, you get to have all the learning, coaching and growth that accompanies our cutting edge process, along with your mediated settlement, and, all keeping you out of court and saving you money and time!

The grounds for an annulment can include fraud that goes to “the essence of a marriage” (meaning the heart of a marriage). For example, if a spouse does not disclose to their partner an intent to withhold sexual relations from the marriage, or even a desire live separately, this can be interpreted as fraud because sexual intimacy and living together are central to the compatibility of a marriage. Other grounds include underage spouses, under duress, or should a spouse conceal a sexually transmitted disease from their partner. Other issues such as misrepresentation of wealth, education, social status, or even fertility are not grounds for an annulment by the Court.

Your next step can be a simple phone call to us at 480-777-5500.

At WHYmediate?, Find out why mediation will allow you to resolve many different types of conflicts in a positive learning environment that covers how to deal with all the upcoming days in your life.

WHYmediate? Mediation Services

4500 South Lakeshore Drive Suite 300

Tempe, AZ 85282

(480) 777-5500

http://whymediate.solutions

Can Mediation Lead To Reconciliation?

In most cases the process of divorce starts with one half of the couple wanting a divorce to happen and the other half wanting to save the marriage. Many of these couples are not familiar with the mediation process or even what it means.  That can lead to a reluctance on either side to not want to participate. 

Just what is mediation? One dictionary definition is; an intervention in a dispute in order to resolve it. Some folks think ... arbitration. But how does that apply to a failing or failed marriage? One of the first questions asked of clients is “Has there been a decision to divorce?”  They are asked because couples seek help at various stages of a marriage crisis. Sometimes both people are quite sure they are ready for divorce. Most often, only one half of the couple is.

And sometimes, neither party is sure they want a divorce, but they do know their marriage is in crisis. In that case, I will ask them if they have any interest in trying to repair their marriage if it were possible. Sometimes people say “yes!”

How can mediation help in those instances when couples want help restoring their marriage? What is the difference between mediation and reconciliation in that case?

While both marriage counseling and mediation often help the couple open new lines of communication and improve exchanges, there are some distinct disparities. Marriage counselers generally employ different techniques to explore personality and relationship dysfunction and to establish new models of behavior to revive the rapport.

In contrast, mediators help couples resolve disputes and solve specific problems. They are forward-focused and do not tend to analyze past behaviors. A mediated conversation can guide couples to find shared values and devise helpful guidelines to make their family life run more smoothly. Or how to uncouple the relationship in ways that work for both halves.

We know that we are helpful to every divorcing couple we work with. However, it was a wonderful surprise when couples decided at the end of mediations to try to reconcile their differences and put their marriage back together.

At WHYmediate?, Find out why mediation will allow you to resolve many different types of conflicts in a positive learning environment that covers how to deal with all the upcoming days in your life.

WHYmediate? Mediation Services
4500 South Lakeshore Drive Suite 300 
Tempe, AZ 85282 
(480) 777-5500
http://whymediate.solutions