As The Year Ends Does Your Relationship Need To?

Does that question… “As the year ends does your relationship need to?” hit too close to home? If you're in a romantic relationship or marriage, is there an event happening in your life right now that will motivate you to re-evaluate it and assess how well your current relationship satisfies your needs?

Consider these examples: a woman had causally dated a man for years and her partner had grown impatient and finally said to her, "Either let's commit to each other and get married, or end our relationship." Another person didn't spend much time in his relationship, always working or playing golf with his buddies. Now that his wife was very ill, he needed to accept greater responsibility for taking care of her. In another situation: After a two-year affair with a married man, a woman realized her relationship was never going to be more than an affair.

But sometimes, you are so deep in the trenches that you can’t even see the mess you are in until it is too late. When it comes to relationships, some of us have had the unfortunate but eye-opening experience of being in an extremely toxic one. Most likely, our first experience was enough to be our last, if we were lucky enough to learn from our mistakes and never get involved in one of those types again.

Do any of these sound familiar?

Whether it’s gambling, drugs, alcohol or something else, when your partner has become addicted to the point that it becomes a problem and is affecting your well being, or they have betrayed your trust, the relationship is doomed. If they do not wish to stop and continue their addictive behavior, then it would be in your best interest to leave.

Although our lovely media have made you believe lying is normal for men and women, it’s not normal for a healthy relationship. The most important thing that needs to be in place in order to have a real, deep and meaningful relationship with someone else is trust. If you can’t tell someone the truth and are constantly finding ways to avoid being in trouble, or avoid confrontation, then you should reconsider what you are doing.

Over time, people can begin to drift apart; interests change, goals change, and people begin to want to take a different path in life. If you are starting to feel this way towards your relationship, you MUST tell your partner the truth. It is unfair to keep dragging yourself and your partner along just because you are afraid to hurt someone’s feelings.

If your relationship is a marriage you can benefit from mediation when it comes to an end that will be safe, sane and beneficial to both partners. A simple phone call can start the process. 480-777-5500

At WHYmediate?, Find out if mediation can allow you to resolve all marital conflicts in a positive learning environment that covers how to deal with all the special challenges in your life.

WHYmediate? Mediation Services

4500 South Lakeshore Drive Suite 300

Tempe, AZ 85282

(480) 777-5500

http://whymediate.solutions

A New Start Must Begin Somewhere

I have always thought of Christmas time, when it has come round, as a good time; a kind, forgiving, charitable time; the only time I know of, in the long calendar of the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely, and to think of people below them as if they really were fellow passengers to the grave, and not another race of creatures bound on other journeys. 
~ Charles Dickens

At WHYmediate?, Find out if mediation can allow you to resolve all marital conflicts in a positive learning environment that covers how to deal with all the special challenges in your life.

WHYmediate? Mediation Services
4500 South Lakeshore Drive Suite 300 
Tempe, AZ 85282 
(480) 777-5500

http://whymediate.solutions

Divorce Expectations Meet Reality

It is fair to say that no divorce is sweet and rarely is it as amicable as hoped for. Many losses are experienced when ending a marriage, such as the loss of a home, security, finances, comfort, intimacy, just to name a few of the loses.

The good news is that there are some strategies that divorcing couples can learn in order to make their departure from the relationship as peaceful and stress-free as possible. By finding successful strategies to deal with the loss and pain, both partners can find an effective pathway to facilitate the process and end up with a peaceful outcome.

Mediation Is One Of The Best Strategies

At WHYmediate?, we give you the tools you need to resolve conflict in a positive learning environment. 

We believe in open communication – full disclosure of all possible issues, obstacles and solutions, sharing information, stories, experiences that will help you.

Use Mediation:
In making a difference in your life and the lives of all involved in the mediation process.

In contributing to your resolution and keeping you out of court.

In building trust by starting with your WHY to enhance communication.

In bringing a direct, honest and fresh approach to the table, sharing the most current skill set.

In collective brainstorming for best options and results.

In providing customized options – full or partial services for your specific needs.

Mediation can help you move forward in your lives, addressing critical or temporary issues on your agenda first and fast.

We can help you learn to deal with the emotional aspect of the breakup above all else. Divorce is a time of great emotional pain and enormous change. You may have done your utmost to save the marriage, only to have it result in a definite end. If you're finding it difficult to work through the changes and sense of emotional loss, it is vital to seek counselling from a neutral party, as this will help you deal with the loss of trust, respect and affection within the relationship.

Divorce professionals such as therapists, mediators and attorneys often believe that statements such as, "I've had it with him." or "My feelings have died for her," are indicators that the marriage is over. Most couples who begin a divorce are unprepared and are often not even on the same page when they begin. It is this lack of preparedness and readiness for a divorce that either causes marriages to end prematurely or divorces to deteriorate into competitive contests. The conclusion to obtain a divorce is one of the most crucial assessments a person can make with consequences that last for years or a lifetime. A decision this important requires much greater attention than it is usually given by both couples and professional mediators.

At WHYmediate?, Find out if mediation can allow you to resolve all marital conflicts in a positive learning environment that covers how to deal with all the special challenges in your life.

WHYmediate? Mediation Services
4500 South Lakeshore Drive Suite 300 
Tempe, AZ 85282 
(480) 777-5500
http://whymediate.solutions

Are Your Holiday Plans Going Well With Your EX?

I think the question of “Are Your Holiday Plan Going Well With Your ex-spouse?” is a very important question and more on point this time of year than any other. So do I need to ask that question again?

Is the gifts you are giving causing a problem or should I say problems? How about even the ability to be able to purchase the gifts your children want and deserve? What is happening with the schedule to have enough time and at the right place? Generally, these are the three main areas that can have challenges when trying to make holiday arrangements.

If you’re getting along well with your ex, it may make sense for the two of you to have one holiday gathering with your kids. But if there's any risk of conflict, it’s better for each parent to have a separate holiday celebration with the children.

Do you know a lot of people who have good relations with their former partner? If they got along well they would probably still be married.

Are you wondering how you will survive the upcoming holiday season with your ex-spouse as co-parents? For newly divorced individuals, life is often very chaotic. You need to settle into a new routine and heal your broken family. Often you, your ex-spouse, and your child/ren are feeling hurt, sad and insecure. But just because you are divorced, it doesn't mean that the holidays have to be a mess.

Often the best way to avoid problem with holiday planning was to address that through mediation as the divorce plan.  Agreements can be much less confrontational when done using mediation.

The easiest way to survive with your ex-spouse during the holidays as co-parents, is to stick to your co-parenting plan and keep your communication short, and have conversations related only to your child's needs during the different schedule specified on your plan throughout the holidays. After a lot of trial and error, we decided to no longer make it about our feelings for each other. The holiday was about making it special for our child. In learning how to do that, I found that the following 6 Tips helped me survive the holiday season harmoniously.

Even after a divorce you can use mediation to solve problems. Do you want to have to fight with everything you do with your children for the next many years?

At WHYmediate?, Find out if mediation can allow you to resolve all marital conflicts in a positive learning environment that covers how to deal with all the special challenges in your life.

WHYmediate? Mediation Services
4500 South Lakeshore Drive Suite 300 
Tempe, AZ 85282 
(480) 777-5500
http://whymediate.solutions

What Guardianship Rights Do Grandparents Have?

When parents are divorced, and the parent with custody dies, the law automatically transfers custody to the remaining parent. If you believe your grandchild's remaining parent is incompetent, you can file with the court for Guardianship, asking a judge to appoint you as your grandchild's guardian instead. Even if both of your grandchildren's parents are living, you can ask for guardianship. This step can also be achieved by using mediation.

The everyone must always put the best interests of the child first. If you can prove that the parent(s) is or are abusive or unfit, the court will put the interests of the child or children ahead of the parents' rights. 

The law surrounding grandparents’ rights is complicated. Plus, the facts of each case are unique. This article provides a brief, general introduction to the topic. For more detailed, specific information, please contact a mediator who is or has family law experience.

We are regularly asked what are a grandparent’s rights when they have been deprived of access to their grandchildren. The heartbreaking truth is that grandparents do not have an automatic right to contact with their grandchildren. However, family courts do recognize the invaluable role that grandparents play in their grandchildren’s lives and it is very rare that the court would refuse a grandparent access to grandchildren unless there is clear evidence of danger from abuse or violence.

In some cases, it is not a matter of guardianship but merely access. You can apply for a Contact Order through the court to gain access to your grandchildren. If one, or both parents raise objections you are likely to have to attend a full hearing in which both parties can put forward their evidence. It is essential that you receive good legal advice at this stage because you will need to persuade the court that you have a meaningful and on-going relationship with your grandchildren, which significantly benefits their lives.

Using mediation has helped many grandparents resolve disputes agreeably and gain access to their grandchildren.

You can make a phone call, write a letter or in some cases WHYmediate can contact your family directly for you. A simple phone call can start the process for you, 480-777-5500. At WHYmediate?, we give you the tools you need to resolve conflict in a positive learning environment.

WHYmediate? Mediation Services
4500 South Lakeshore Drive Suite 300 
Tempe, AZ 85282 
(480) 777-5500
http://whymediate.solutions

Mediations: The Best Solutions

Using the mediation process results in having practical strategies for resolving conflicts in your personal life and business ventures as well. Have you ever had what seems like a perfectly simple conversation? A conversation that you could not understand how you could possibly been misunderstood, and yet you find that much of the meaning was lost? Perhaps even taken 180 degrees differently than was your intent? That miscommunication is why using mediation can solve and resolve many conflicts that are the end result.

We can help you have collaborative interaction. And these tend to foster better long-term relationships through cooperative problem-solving and improved communication.

Without a mediator there are a number of ways to approach conflict management and resolution, which range from least to most coercive. Conflicts may be avoided, talked out, negotiated, arbitrated, adjudicated, resolved by legislation, by political action, or by violent force.

To many couples using mediation is a fresh, innovative approach to divorce that is healthy, family-centered, and affordable. Collaborative mediation offers a sensible alternative to the adversarial, two lawyer divorce system for divorcing couples who instead want to make their own decisions and stay in control of their family's future. One neutral mediator and a counseling professional work collaboratively with a divorcing couple to get them over legal, financial, and emotional hurdles to reach mutually acceptable agreements. With ninety-five percent of couples finding agreement on all their issues, collaborative mediation has proven to be the new divorce solution!

For a long time, mediation has been the proven way most divorcing couples resolve divorce and child custody disagreements. Mediation is typically the least expensive assisted consensual dispute resolution process available. Both spouses meet privately and confidentially with a neutral third party, the mediator, who has specialized training in facilitating communications, developing options, and negotiating agreements that work for everyone. The mediator's role is not to give legal advice or impose a decision, but instead to guide the parties to reach their own resolutions. Divorcing spouses make important decisions that fit their family and finances. Mediation avoids the unfortunate result of a judge or arbitrator deciding how much money each spouse will have and when they will see their children.

At WHYmediate?, Find out why mediation will allow you to resolve many different types of conflicts in a positive learning environment that covers how to deal with all the upcoming days in your life.

WHYmediate? Mediation Services
4500 South Lakeshore Drive Suite 300 
Tempe, AZ 85282 
(480) 777-5500
http://whymediate.solutions

LGBT Divorce? Consider Mediation Instead!

The extension of civil marriage, union, domestic partnership and now marriage rights to same-sex couples in various jurisdictions can raise legal issues upon dissolution of these unions that are not experienced by opposite-sex couples, especially if law of their residence or nationality does not have the same-sex marriage or partnerships relations.

Yes, these challenges are an untried concept to many folks on both sides of this relatively new area as these unions come to an end for some couples.

In jurisdictions where same-sex unions are not possible, also divorce or annulment may not be possible, while general conflict of law rules sometimes exclude divorce in the jurisdiction where the marriage was celebrated. In some jurisdictions divorce is possible, even if marriage is not possible.

When Delaware and Minnesota legalized same-sex marriage in May 2013, they gave their respective state courts the authority to conduct divorce proceedings in cases where a same-sex couple married in the state but neither party resides in a state that recognizes their marriage.

Same-sex couples attempting to divorce in Texas, which does not recognize the validity of same-sex marriages, have met with different results and two cases are pending before the Texas Supreme Court. Two women who had legally married in Massachusetts and moved to Florida are challenging that state's ban on same-sex marriages in order to divorce. The Florida litigants' petition for divorce was dismissed by the trial court, but they are appealing and the Family Law Section of the Florida Bar has moved to file an amicus brief in favor of the right to divorce by same-sex spouses.

The federal government's denial of recognition to same-sex marriages prior to United States v. Windsor meant that prior to 2013, the assets transferred in a divorce settlement were treated as gifts. Same-sex couples in states that deny them access to divorce may be able to end their legal relationship at greater cost by bringing a civil suit.

Using mediation as it relates to " LGBT Divorce" will save you money, time, aggravation, and stress plus give you more control over your situation.  You will also have the liberty of talking about things that a judge may not even have the authority to discuss!  The private mediation process is so much more flexible and informal that folks can communicate better. When you add our WHY discovery process to the mediation steps, you get to have all the learning, coaching and growth that accompanies our cutting edge process, along with your mediated settlement, and, all keeping you out of court and saving you even more time and money!

If you have question or concerns call WHYmediate to get the answers about specific conflict resolutions using mediation in the state of Arizona.

At WHYmediate?, Find out why mediation will allow you to resolve marital conflicts in a positive learning environment that covers how to deal with all the special days in your life.

WHYmediate? Mediation Services
4500 South Lakeshore Drive Suite 300 
Tempe, AZ 85282 
(480) 777-5500
http://whymediate.solutions

Holidays and Parenting Time

When marriages with children end visitation can become a real issue. Vacations and holidays can lead to one or both parents feeling they are not getting their fair share of “face-time” when it comes to the children and this can be even more added stress.

Setting solid and well thought out rules, guidelines and even exceptions well in advance can be the Solution(s) you need. At Whymediate we know how to get the two parents working together on the same page through creative mediation.

What is meant by “Parenting Time?” Parenting time, which is also referred to as physical custody or visitation, is the designation of time of when the child will be with each their parents. Generally, a specific schedule or parenting plan is appropriate so that each parent knows when parenting time starts and stops and allows for consistency for the child. It may even set aside where the visitations will take place and if any special conditions need to be met.

Raising children can have special challenges. When the parents live in separate homes, the challenges are greater because relationships become more complicated. Sometimes parents disagree about how much time children should spend with each parent.  A statewide committee of judicial officers, mental health providers, and attorneys created this planning guide after consulting with well‐known experts on child development and after reviewing current research and guidelines from other communities. Decisions about parenting time depend on many things, particularly the age of the child. This information about what a child learns, feels, and needs at different ages needs to be considered when setting up the guidelines for parenting time. It also provides suggested plans for each age group.

Using mediation as it relates to "Parenting Time" will save you money, time, aggravation, and stress plus give you more control over your situation.  You will also have the liberty of talking about things that a judge may not even have the authority to discuss!  The private mediation process is so much more flexible and informal that folks can communicate better. When you add our WHY discovery process to the mediations steps, you get to have all the learning, coaching and growth that accompanies our cutting edge process, along with your mediated settlement, and, all keeping you out of court and saving you even more time and money!

At WHYmediate?, Find out why mediation will allow you to resolve marital conflicts in a positive learning environment that covers how to deal with all the special days in your life.

WHYmediate? Mediation Services

4500 South Lakeshore Drive Suite 300

Tempe, AZ 85282

(480) 777-5500

http://whymediate.solutions

Paternity Rights And Responsibilities

Perhaps the best way to start this discussion is with a statement of fact. In the eyes of the law, paternity is the legal or biological relationship between a child and his or her biological parents. In nearly all cases the father is the one in question.. Paternity deals with the rights and obligations of both the biological or natural father and the child to each other as well as to others. A child's paternity may be relevant in relation to issues of legitimacy, inheritance and rights to a putative father's title or surname, as well as the biological father's rights to custody and obligations for child support.

A child born to a married woman during a marriage is presumed under common law to be the child of her husband by a "presumption of paternity" or presumption of legitimacy. In consideration of possibly mis-attributed paternity, these presumptions may be rebutted by evidence to the contrary, for example, in disputed child custody and child support cases during divorce, annulment or legal separation.

In the case of a father not married to a child's mother, a man may come forward and accept the paternity of the child in what is called a "voluntary acknowledgment of paternity", the mother or government can file a petition for a determination of paternity against a putative father, or paternity can be determined by the courts over time. Currently, when paternity is in dispute or doubt, DNA testing may be used to conclusively resolve this matter.

When a voluntary acknowledgment of paternity is arranged the amount of infighting is reduced considerably/ This step is mediation is the best way to bring the parties together in a more relaxed atmosphere.

Given the increased rate of divorced and unwed parents, many parents have begun to examine fathers' rights in child-rearing and family planning. Fathers' rights can include a father's right to parenting time with his children, the right to be consulted before adoption, and the right to time off from work to raise his child. You may also want to learn about the fathers' rights movement, proposals for family law reform, and notable fathers' rights legal cases.

If you have parental responsibility, your most important roles (among others) are to:

    provide a home for the child
    protect and maintain the child

If you have parental responsibility for a child you don’t live with, you don’t necessarily have a right to contact with them - but the other parent still needs to keep you apprised about their well-being and life progress.

At WHYmediate?, Find out why mediation will allow you to resolve marital conflicts in a positive learning environment that covers how to deal with all the special days in your life.

WHYmediate? Mediation Services
4500 South Lakeshore Drive Suite 300 
Tempe, AZ 85282 
(480) 777-5500
http://whymediate.solutions

Do You Need A Prenup?

A prenuptial agreement, commonly abbreviated to prenup or prenupt, is a contract entered into prior to marriage, civil union or any other agreement prior to the main agreement by the people intending to marry or contract with each other. The content of a prenuptial agreement can vary widely, but commonly includes provisions for division of property and spousal support in the event of divorce or breakup of marriage. They may also include terms for the forfeiture of assets as a result of divorce on the grounds of adultery; further conditions of guardianship may be included as well. It should not be confused with the historic marriage settlement which was concerned not primarily with the effects of divorce but with the establishment and maintaining of dynastic families.

In some countries, including Belgium and the Netherlands, the prenuptial agreement not only provides for the event of a divorce, but also to protect some property during the marriage, for instance in case of a bankruptcy.

Many countries, including Canada, France, Italy, and Germany, have matrimonial regimes, in addition to, or some cases, in lieu of prenuptial agreements. Postnuptial agreements are similar to prenuptial agreements, except that they are entered into after a couple is married.

Unless you do listen to the news you know that Rupert Murdoch has divorced his wife, Wendi. And if you have heard any details about the split, you also know that the couple probably has a prenup.

Prenuptial agreements are common among the financial elite, like the Murdochs, for good reason: When they divorce, the settlements can be astronomical. Murdoch knows this all too well, since the cost of his divorce from his second wife, Anna, reportedly topped out at $1.7 billion. 

Very few people have that much of a financial risk, but if you want to protect your current assists a prenuptial agreement may be a necessary part of your marriage plans. Often, the people seeking out prenups are people who have been burned in a previous divorce. They may want to head off a costly settlement, or protect the interests of children from a past marriage, or both. People who have been through a bad divorce have more moral needs to negotiate.

At WHYmediate?, Find out why mediation will allow you to resolve marital conflicts in a positive learning environment that covers how to deal with all the special days in your life.

WHYmediate? Mediation Services
4500 South Lakeshore Drive Suite 300 
Tempe, AZ 85282 
(480) 777-5500
http://whymediate.solutions

Gift Giving Following Your Divorce

Generally children from divorced families clean up during the holidays. In the early years post-separation, their parents’ guilt will ensure they’re buried in presents; later on, the addition of step parents, grandparents, uncles and aunts and so forth will multiply their holiday take exponentially. 

Best Gift: Co-parents That Get Along

Some folks try hard to stick with basically the same balanced Christmas philosophy they held pre-divorce (children are often second-generation-victims-of-broken-homes, get way too many presents from way too many relatives as it is.) During the married days, children got stockings from Santa, and one or two (generally utilitarian) presents from their father and mother. Some try not to go overboard, and they seem to do just fine.

Sometimes one parent is trying to keep up with the other parent's giving of presents. If you have found yourself trapped in this game, you need to have a talk with the other parent as soon as possible. Hopefully you and the other parent can come to an agreement to stop or at least lessen the amount of presents given to your child. This is not a time to be competing for the love of your child, but instead a time to be working together to be good single parents. This sense of competition will be perceived by your child and he or she will feel as though it is pulling him or her in two different directions. The typical child experiencing his or her parent's divorce and/or separation does not want to love one parent more than the other.

Or you can think about and treat your former spouse with respect. And then you are giving your innocent children a tremendous gift that will last a lifetime. Why? Because ...

Your children aren't exposed to high conflict dramas, unveiled anger, insults and ongoing "disputes."

You can co-parent more effectively as a parenting team in the years ahead.

Your children can avoid the stress and embarrassment from having to keep their parents apart during holidays, activities, graduations and other important celebrations with their children.

Your children are not robbed of their childhood by becoming pawns expected to act as spies, confidants or support systems for their angry and often insecure divorced parents.

Your children are not privy to personal issues between their divorced parents. You handle disagreements and other challenges together through communication, respectful conversation, professional guidance and co-parenting tools.

Can you have a respectful co-parenting relationship with your former spouse if you're filled with rage against them? More than likely not. Keep in mind that rage and anger are going to harm you more than they will impact your former spouse. Why not address it, so you can move on in your own life? Seek out a professional mediator, therapist, divorce coach, support group, clergy or co-parenting program to get insight about your feelings and find tools for handling your anger and other emotions more effectively.

At WHYmediate?, Find out if mediation can allow you to resolve all marital conflicts in a positive learning environment that covers how to deal with all the special challenges in your life.

WHYmediate? Mediation Services
4500 South Lakeshore Drive Suite 300 
Tempe, AZ 85282 
(480) 777-5500
http://whymediate.solutions

Following A Divorce Holidays Can Be Challenging

If you’re a divorced household and have transitioned from one family into two, the holidays can be a frustrating time. What once was considered a wonderful time of the year can be very challenging after your separation or divorce. However, it doesn’t have to be a time of additional fighting and sadness.

The first and most important thing to remember is putting your children’s first. If ever there was a time to think about peace on earth and good will toward men (and women), it’s the holiday season. Yes, that applies to the previous spouse as well. If possible, for the children’s sake, keep the important traditions going. You may have to alter them a tad or perhaps reinvent them altogether. This is a great time to start new traditions with your children, but don’t be too quick to abandon the old ones just because it may not be the same to you. Remember, it’s about how your children feel. It’s not about you or the discarded partner.

It’s always best to plan ahead. Makes sure the lines of communication stay open. Don’t forget you are creating two separate holiday celebrations and there is a lot to do as far as coordination and travel. Be clear with your co-parent how and when you will celebrate. If it’s possible to for you and your ex to share time together with the children during the holiday, like dinner or breakfast with gift opening, the children will appreciate it. Be aware of your limits, though; too much togetherness might become stressful and bring the Scrooge out in you both.

The other danger in this scenario may be a hidden, ulterior motive for the togetherness, a desire to get back together with the ex. You must be honest with yourself. Don’t confuse the children with any hidden agenda. Be aware how they will feel, be certain they understand this does not mean you are getting back together. It’s common for children to secretly wish for this to happen, especially during the holidays, so make sure they aren’t harboring this notion before you decide to celebrate together.

If being around the ex seems an impossible task, alternating holiday time may be the answer. That means when it’s not your year, you have to find a way to celebrate that doesn’t include your children. Do something different, unexpected, avoid letting it be a sad and terrible time for you … your kids will know and feel guilty if you are all alone. The goal is to never expect them to choose one parent over the other. They love the both of  you.

At WHYmediate?, Find out if mediation can allow you to resolve all marital conflicts in a positive learning environment that covers how to deal with all the special challenges in your life.

WHYmediate? Mediation Services
4500 South Lakeshore Drive Suite 300 
Tempe, AZ 85282 
(480) 777-5500
http://whymediate.solutions

What About My Child Support?

I think the best place to start is to define just what is meant by “Child Support.” In family law child support is the ongoing, periodic payment made by a parent for the financial benefit of a child following the end of a marriage or other relationship. Child support is paid directly or indirectly by the non-custodial parent to the custodial parent, a caregiver, a guardian, or the state for the care and support of children of a relationship that has ended.

Typically one has the same duty to pay child support irrespective of gender, so a mother is required to pay support to a father just as a father must pay a mother. In some jurisdictions where there is joint custody, the child is considered to have two custodial parents and no non-custodial parents, and a custodial parent with a higher income may then be required to pay the other custodial parent.

You can work with the state or an attorney and the courts to establish your child support or you can set up and establish those payments in the non-confrontational environment of mediation.

While the court always maintains jurisdiction with respect to child support, there are many aspects that can be mediated.  This could range from setting an initial amount, agreeing to modification, or setting out the terms by which the amount overdue might be made up or even forgiven in part (if that is appropriate).  Once parties agree to the child support terms, this should be taken to the court for approval.  Because the mediated terms are uncontested, however, court action to seek ratification of the agreement will be less expensive than that of a court battle resolution.  The advantage of mediation is not just to save time and expense, however.  A key advantage of mediation is that it allows for better more meaningful solutions.

Mediation can help you create a more effective working relationship with your previous partner or spouse. This is one of the most important aspects of learning to work together in raising your children. Through mediation, you will learn to communicate effectively with one another and maintain a workable relationship plan for the future of yourself and children.

At WHYmediate?, Find out if mediation can allow you to resolve all marital conflicts in a positive learning environment that covers how to deal with all the special challenges in your life.

WHYmediate? Mediation Services

4500 South Lakeshore Drive Suite 300

Tempe, AZ 85282

(480) 777-5500

http://whymediate.solutions

Just What Is An Annulment?

Did you know you have options before divorce, such as separation or annulment? You are probably familiar with the term separation but what do you know about an Annulment? Perhaps even more important you should try to familiarize yourself with the option of using mediation.

A legal separation, annulment and divorce all end the marriage but in both subtle and profoundly different ways. In a separation the marriage is effect in that the parties can not participate in a new marriage.

Annulments are a bit different than divorces, and in some important ways yes, annulments do differ from divorces. Like a divorce, an annulment is a court order after a proceeding that essentially dissolves a marriage. However, unlike a divorce, an annulment has the legal effect of making it so the marriage never existed in the first place.

You cannot get an annulment just because your marriage was very short. To get an annulment, you need to show that your marriage is either “void” or “voidable”.  If you were not legally allowed to marry in the first place and the state will never approve such a marriage, it is called a “void” marriage.  If you were not legally permitted to marry because of a particular problem, but the state will allow you to choose to remain married, you have a “voidable” marriage.

Here are some elements that would make a marriage voidable:

One of the spouses did not have the mental capacity to consent to the marriage at the time. For example, a spouse may have been drunk or mentally ill.

One of the spouses is not physically capable of sexual intercourse. If this fact is concealed the marriage is voidable do to fraud.

One of the spouses was not old enough to get married. In general, you need to be 18 years old to get married, unless you have the permission of your parents and the court. A few states allow marriage at somewhat younger ages.

There was fraud involved in getting married. The courts are very strict, and will only annul a marriage for a fraud that goes to the heart of the marriage itself.  Historically, annulments for fraud were focused on sexual relations and the ability to have children.  Courts have also been willing to find fraud where one person had purely ulterior motives for entering into the marriage. For example, one person may have thought they were marrying for love, but the other person was only marrying them for immigration reasons. Many deceptive or fraudulent acts, however, will not be grounds for an annulment. Additionally, if you knew or should have known of the fraudulent conduct, an annulment may not be granted.

At WHYmediate?, Find out if mediation can allow you to resolve all marital conflicts in a positive learning environment that covers how to deal with all the special challenges in your life.

WHYmediate? Mediation Services
4500 South Lakeshore Drive Suite 300 
Tempe, AZ 85282 
(480) 777-5500
http://whymediate.solutions

How Do I Adopt My Stepchild?

In many blended families it is commonplace to adopt a stepchild or for that matter all of the stepchildren. But if you are wondering how to go about accomplishing that legal process.

Most commonly, it is a situation where a man is married to a woman who has a child from a prior marriage or relationship, and the man wants to adopt her child. It could also be the case that the man has a child from a prior relationship, and the woman wants to adopt the child.

The primary reason for adopting a stepchild is in order to obtain enforceable parental rights. This process requires cooperation from all parties involved, including both of the stepchild’s biological parents if both are still living.

The noncustodial biological parent must first relinquish his or her parental rights in order to have a stepparent adopt a child in Arizona. When biological parents consent to this type of adoption, they can voluntarily terminate their parental rights. Under the correct and extreme circumstances, parental rights may be involuntary terminated.

Adopting a stepchild can be a complicated process, and though the paperwork may seem simple, it represents a significant legal action that may be mishandled. To avoid complications and simplify the process, you can hire a mediator that does adoptions in their family practice.

Once you make the decision to adopt a stepchild or children, the natural parent must complete a “Consent to Adopt” form, and the stepparent and other natural parent must complete a “Petition to Adopt” form. If there are no issues or errors with consent or other requirements, the adoption will be legally granted.

When a stepparent adopts a stepchild, this is a strong family connection that can bring the blended families even closer. But it’s also a way for the stepparent to receive legal responsibilities of the child just as natural parents would.

After adoption, stepparents have the same financial and personal obligation to care for the child and provide for his or her basic needs. This adoption decision should never be taken lightly, so before requesting that the biological parent relinquish his or her rights, the stepparent must weigh their decision carefully.

At WHYmediate?, Find out if mediation can allow you to resolve step parent adoptions in a positive learning environment that covers how to deal with all the special days in your life.

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WHYmediate? Mediation Services
4500 South Lakeshore Drive Suite 300 
Tempe, AZ 85282 
(480) 777-5500
http://whymediate.solutions

Separation or Divorce Which Is Best For Now?

Did you know there are four different types of separations? We think, it's important you know the differences, because the type of separation a couple chooses can impact property rights. The following is a general overview of various types of separations, but each state has specific rules regarding property rights. If you have questions after reading this blog, and you are an Arizona resident please contact WHYmediate at 480-777-5500.

Trial Separations: When a couple lives apart for a test period, to decide whether or not to separate permanently, it's called a trial separation. Even if the spouses don't get back together, the assets they accumulate and debts they incur during the trial period are usually considered marital property. This type of separation is usually not legally recognized, but is instead a specific period in a couple's relationship.

Living Apart: Spouses who no longer reside in the same dwelling are said to be living apart. In some states, living apart without intending to reunite changes the spouses' property rights. For example, some states consider property accumulated and debts incurred while living apart to be the separate property or debt of the person who accumulated or incurred it. In other states, property is joint unless and until a divorce complaint is filed in court. In some states, couples will need to live apart for a certain period of time before they are permitted to file for a no-fault divorce.

Permanent Separation: When a couple decides to permanently split up, it's often called a permanent separation. It may follow a trial separation, or may begin immediately when the couple starts living apart. In most states, all assets received and most debts incurred after permanent separation are the separate property or responsibility of the spouse incurring them. However, debts that happen after separation and before divorce are usually joint debts if they are incurred for certain necessities, such as to provide for the children or maintain the marital home.

Legal Separation: A legal separation is when the parties separate and there is a legal ruling on the division of property, alimony, child support, custody, and visitation -- but does not grant a divorce. This isn't very common, but there are situations where spouses don't want to divorce for religious, financial, or personal reasons, but do want the certainty of a court order that says they're separated and addresses all the same issues that would be decided in a divorce. The money awarded for support of the spouse and children under these circumstances is often called separate maintenance (as opposed to alimony and child support). 

Consider working with a mediator no matter what you do as they can guide you to the proper choice that will be unique to your individual circumstances.

At WHYmediate?, Find out if mediation can allow you to resolve Marital Conflicts in a positive learning environment that covers how to deal with all the special days in your life.

WHYmediate? Mediation Services
4500 South Lakeshore Drive Suite 300 
Tempe, AZ 85282 
(480) 777-5500
http://whymediate.solutions

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Grandparents Do Have Rights

Many feel that grandchildren are one of the greatest blessings in life. It is no small wonder that most grandparents want to spend quality time with their grandchildren. Unfortunately in some cases there are situations that arise, divorce to name one, that make the enjoyment of these special children seem nearly impossible. That need not be the case.

While there are many reasons families can disintegrate, divorce, the death of a parent, drug or alcohol abuse, incarceration, even what may be simple protracted disagreements. When those situations occur, grandparents still have certain legal rights, and can seek to redress visitation with their grandchildren or even custody in some extreme cases. These rights and the relevant laws vary from state to state. Understanding your own basic rights can help ensure that your special relationship with your grandchildren doesn't end even if the children's relationship with your adult child does. 

Grandparents in every state in the United States have rights, in some circumstances, to be awarded custody of their grandchildren or to be awarded court-mandated visitation with their grandchildren. Grandparents' rights are not constitutional in nature....Recognition of grandparents' rights by state legislatures is a fairly recent trend, and most of the statutes have been in effect for less than 35 years.

Courts grant visitation or custody to grandparents only when certain conditions provided in the state statutes are met. Conditions for a grandparent to attain custody differ from those conditions required for visitation rights. A grandparent should be familiar with the conditions for either custody or visitation before determining whether to file a petition to request either from a court of law.

Opening a dialog through mediation may be the quickest and most direct method of regaining visitations with your grandchildren. Generally, family members participate in mediation voluntarily. In some cases mediation is recommended or ordered by a family court. During mediation, all involved parties get together, in the presence of a neutral professional, to discuss the issues at the heart of the matter. Mediation works because families end up understanding each other's basic underlying interests and what may be best for the wellbeing of the children.

A mediator can help you decide the proper method to propose a mediated family meeting. When you contact a grandchild's parents, be respectful and positive. Complement them on their good parenting; confirm that you know they want the best for their child, just as you do, and that you'd like to support them. If communications are impossible let your mediator make the approach.

Explain your desire to have a family mediator help all of you to communicate more effectively and come to a mutually agreeable and beneficial solution. 

Provide contact information for the mediators you've talked with, but be open to using another mediator if they request it. Tell them you'll check back with you or your mediator by a certain date after they have had time to think about it. 

You can make a phone call, write a letter or in some cases WHYmediate can contact your family directly for you. A simple phone call can start the process for you. 480-777-5500

At WHYmediate?, we give you the tools you need to resolve conflict in a positive learning environment.

WHYmediate? Mediation Services
4500 South Lakeshore Drive Suite 300 
Tempe, AZ 85282 
(480) 777-5500
http://whymediate.solutions

What Is Your Reason For Your Divorce?

Are you wondering why people get divorced? Or, perhaps, you are wondering why people stay married? Is the very best description of your marriage, unhappy, or is it very unhappy?

Knowing why to divorce can be difficult, and it's a decision that can't be taken lightly. So how do you know if you should proceed? How can you be sure that this time is really it? That this time there's no turning back?

Are you being abused?
It doesn’t matter if it is emotional or physical, abuse is something no one should have to live with. If you believe you are a victim of abuse, you may consider calling the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233.

You no longer respect or trust your spouse.
A strong marriage is based on trust, understanding and mutual respect. If you've lost all respect or no longer trust your spouse, it may be a sign that it's time to move on. If you are being lied to even about small issues it is a bad sign for future interactions.

You think of your marriage as "the lesser of evils."
If you're only staying with your husband or wife because you think it's easier than having to start over and find someone new, chances are your relationship is in serious trouble.

You are the one being unfaithful to your spouse.
Many people think of an affair as a physical relationship. But you're kidding yourself if you think emotionally charged Facebook chats or texting exchanges with friends or coworkers are harmless. You've just traded one kind of an affair for another.

If you're cheating on your spouse physically or emotionally, it might be time to give your spouse the respect they deserve and get a divorce so you both can find happiness.

At the end of the day, only you can determine if you should get a divorce. It's a personal decision that should be made with careful thought and consideration.

But if one or more of the items on this list is true for you, and you think it's time to take the next step, you owe it to yourself to learn the best way to tell your spouse you want a divorce so you can keep things as peaceful as possible and do what's best for you, your spouse and your children.

At WHYmediate?, we give you the tools you need to resolve your Divorce conflicts in a positive learning environment. 

Through mediation if you need a divorce why not get the best possible outcome.

WHYmediate? Mediation Services
4500 South Lakeshore Drive Suite 300 
Tempe, AZ 85282 
(480) 777-5500
http://whymediate.solutions

You Can’t Get A Divorce!

Is that a chilling headline… “You Can’t Get A Divorce!”? Is your first question, Why? The better question is, where? Are you thinking a third world or Muslim country? Italy, perhaps?

The Philippines is now the only country in the world that denies divorce to the majority of its citizens; it is the last holdout among a group of staunchly Catholic countries where the church has fought hard to enforce its views on the sanctity of marriage.

Pope Francis, who visited the Philippines recently, has urged his bishops to take a more forgiving stance toward divorced Catholics, but this is a moot point in the Philippines: There is no such thing as a divorced Catholic.

A bill that would legalize divorce in the Philippines is now before the legislature, but it has little chance of becoming law without the support of President Benigno Aquino III, who is on record saying divorce is a “no-no” for this archipelago nation. Aquino, a bachelor and a practicing Catholic, said he does not want the Philippines to become like Las Vegas, where “you get married in the morning [and] you get divorced in the afternoon.”

Luckily for most folks in the United States and here in Arizona particularly divorce is legal and in many cases necessary.

At WHYmediate? we know that you’re going through one of the most difficult times of your life and we know that we can help make it easier on you and on your family.

Here, we believe in open communication – full disclosure of all possible issues, obstacles and solutions, sharing information, stories, experiences that will help you. We believe in progress, and that to us means change, transition and letting go. We bring vast experience in areas of the law, mediation, coaching and healing to the table and empower you to do your own research and find the values of your assets and extent of your liabilities.

The WHYmediate? process helps people resolve conflicts and re-create relationships. Mediation is a conflict resolution process – a smart alternative to going to court, saving time, money, energy, stress and paperwork. You will walk away with an in-depth understanding of how to best address communication with the other party. Better mutual understanding can lead to current and future resolution!

At WHYmediate?, we give you the tools you need to resolve your Divorce conflicts in a positive learning environment.

Through mediation if you need a divorce why not get the best possible outcome.

WHYmediate? Mediation Services

4500 South Lakeshore Drive Suite 300

Tempe, AZ 85282

(480) 777-5500

http://whymediate.solutions