Divorce Facts You Will Find Interesting

In the U.S. the average marriage last just 8 years. So why isn’t called the eight year itch? 

The average female divorcee waits four years before trying again.  The average male it is less than two years.

It's no secret that children of divorced parents are more likely to get divorced. Studies indicate that daughters of divorced parents have a 60-percent higher divorce rate in marriages than children of non-divorced parents, and sons have a 35-percent higher divorce rate.

68% of married couples see their 10th anniversary. However just 35% make it to their 25th. Due to age, death and divorce just over 6% make it to their 50th.

They better the economy the higher the divorce rate. You might think that since many people rate money problems as a cause for divorce the opposite would be true.

Your religious beliefs can play a part in whether a marriage lasts. On average 61% of couples with no religious affiliation made it to their 10th anniversary, compared to 65% of Protestants and 73% of Catholics.

Couples with higher levels of education are more likely to stay together. About 60% of couples with only a high school diploma were still married after 10 years, compared to 85% of those with a bachelor's degree and 82% of those with a master's degree or higher.

In general, the older a couple is at marriage, the more likely their marriage is to last. 54% of couples married younger than age 20 make it to their 10th anniversary, compared to 69% of couples married age 20-24, and 78% of couples age 25+.

The More You Get Remarried, The More Likely You’ll Get Divorced Some folks believe you should try and try again when it comes to love, but should the same thought process apply to marriage? Statistically the answer is no. According to Divorce Statistics, the divorce rate for a first marriage is between 41 to 50 percent, second marriages have a divorce rate of 60 to 67 percent, and for third marriage the divorce rate is between 73 to 74 percent.

Couples With Longer Commutes Are More Likely To Divorce. You might have never put these two things together, but if you commute at least 45 minutes one-way to work then your marriage is at risk, according to research done by Erica Sandow of Umea University in Sweden.

At WHYmediate?, Find out if mediation can allow you to resolve Divorce conflicts in a positive learning environment that covers how to deal with all the special days in your life.

WHYmediate? Mediation Services
4500 South Lakeshore Drive Suite 300 
Tempe, AZ 85282 
(480) 777-5500
http://whymediate.solutions

Divorce Secrets That Can Save Time and Money

Going through a divorce is agonizing emotionally, taxing financially, complicated, confusing, and expensive, regardless of whether you and your spouse are getting along or at each other's throats, whether you have an attorney (or attorneys) or not, how much education you have, or how much money or how many children you have.

At WHYmediate?, we want to offer you these tips and tricks to save money during your divorce process and beyond.

It may come as no surprise the very first secret is to use mediation (and  WHYmediate? at that) rather than the more traditional divorce court process.

Get your financial and life information "ducks" in a row. When you get divorced, you need to know what you have/had at the date you married as well as the date you separated. You will need records of your bank accounts, stock accounts, retirement accounts, three years of tax returns (or more), at least three months of pay stubs, mortgage statements, purchase documents for any real estate you own, any refinance documents, any life insurance policies, statements of debt (credit cards, loans), automobile title documents, and any pre- or post-nuptial agreements.

Separate your joint bank accounts, i.e. your checking and savings. Evaluate your pension  (and your spouse's).

Be prepared when you come to meetings and mediation. Have any documents you've been asked to bring, prepare a list of questions or topics you want to go over. Don't fight for fighting's sake. Most items can be replaced. Don't spend $1,200 fighting over the $200 smart phone.

Even with a great lawyer, you aren't always going to get everything you want. The reason people hate the divorce process so much is because effective litigation (any kind) ends with both parties unhappy. Never is this more true in the case of a divorce. You cannot reasonably expect to get everything you want in a divorce. It's a divorce - it sucks. It's going to suck. And beyond cases of gross malpractice, most of that suckitude is not going to be your lawyer's fault. So reconsider your expectations and just try to keep/get the really important items.

WHYmediate?, helps you look forward to the future and helps prevent from getting stuck in details. We also help you to observe and take different aspects into consideration, aspects that you would easily miss in the midst of your family crisis.

At WHYmediate?, we give you the tools you need to resolve your conflicts in a positive learning environment.

At WHYmediate?, Find out if mediation can allow you to resolve Divorce conflicts in a positive learning environment that covers how to deal with all the special days in your life.

WHYmediate? Mediation Services
4500 South Lakeshore Drive Suite 300 
Tempe, AZ 85282 
(480) 777-5500
http://whymediate.solutions

Learn To Fast Track Your Divorce

While most people will tell you that divorce is one life change that must be well thought out.  It is not something that should be a hasty decision. But when you are sure you are ready just how fast can you proceed?

That part of the divorce process is partly governed by your state statues. Here in Arizona it is: At least one spouse must be an Arizona resident for 90 days prior to filing a petition for marriage dissolution. You must then wait at least 60 days after serving the petition before the court can grant a judgment for divorce. Ariz. Rev. Stat. § 25-312, 329.

Divorce is the legal process that ends a marriage. In Arizona, the legal term for divorce is “marriage dissolution.” During the divorce process you will have to make decisions about child custody, visitation, child support, alimony (sometimes called spousal support or maintenance), property and debt division, and attorney's fees and costs. You can either make an agreement with your spouse about these issues (called mediation) or you can have the court decide for you in a trial.  

You can also choose between the divorce in a court or by mediation.  At WHYmediate?, we think you will find that mediation has many advantages. 

Control – People keep control over the resolution of their own problem.

Saves Time and Hassle – Disputes can be settled promptly. Mediation sessions can be scheduled as soon as everyone agrees to use mediation to resolve the dispute, and often before a lawsuit is filed.

Costs Less – Mediation costs are significantly less than taking a case to trial, often from 50% to 90% savings.

Collaborative Interaction – Foster better long-term relationships through cooperative problem-solving and improved communication.

Privacy and Confidentiality – The mediator and the people in the dispute must maintain the confidentiality of the information disclosed during mediation.

Flexibility – Although a judge may order a case to proceed to mediation, the mediation may be terminated at any time by the people involved or by the mediator. Settlement is also entirely voluntary. If you cannot reach an agreement, you still have the right to take the dispute before a judge or jury.

At WHYmediate?, Find out if mediation can allow you to resolve Divorce conflicts in a positive learning environment that covers how to deal with all the special days in your life.

WHYmediate? Mediation Services
4500 South Lakeshore Drive Suite 300 
Tempe, AZ 85282 
(480) 777-5500
http://whymediate.solutions

Why Mediate Your Divorce at Whymediate?

At WHYmediate?, we give you the tools you need to resolve conflict in a positive learning environment.

Perhaps you first need to understand that you have a better alternative to using the traditional divorce court to end your marriage and that is mediation.

At WHYmediate? our divorce mediation process helps our participants resolve conflicts and create new relationships. Mediation is a conflict resolution process – a smart alternative to going to court, saving time, money, energy, stress and paperwork. You will walk away with an in-depth understanding of how to best address communication with the other party. Better mutual understanding can lead to current and future resolution.

Mediation will save you money, time, aggravation, and stress plus give you more control over your case. You will also have the liberty of talking about things that a judge may not even have the authority to discuss!  The private mediation process is so much more flexible and informal that folks can communicate better.

When you add our WHY discovery process to the mediations steps, you get to have all the learning, coaching and growth that accompanies our cutting edge process, along with your mediated settlement – AND, all keeping you out of court and saving you money and time!

Your guided mediation process to resolve your conflict and move you from WHY? to YES!

Stay out of court; avoid the legal fees associated with high court costs and still resolve your conflict!

Did you know that your conflict can result in a lasting growth experience instead of the usual permanent destruction of relationships after the court battle is over? Get on with life, sooner!

In the WHYmediate? process, we will move you from conflict to mutually agreeable terms and mutual understanding – sometimes with grace, sometimes with technical brilliance and sometimes with shear gut intuition and will.

Our process starts at a fundamentally different place which is with helping you understand your personal motivation.  Knowing your WHY will ease the process of mediation because once you know your WHY, you will have a deeper understanding of your own value system which significantly impacts the decisions you will make in the mediation process.  The valuable understanding and compassion that was once unavailable is suddenly now accessible because you now KNOW YOUR WHY!

At WHYmediate?, Find out if mediation can allow you to resolve Divorce conflicts in a positive learning environment that covers how to deal with all the special days in your life.

WHYmediate? Mediation Services

4500 South Lakeshore Drive Suite 300

Tempe, AZ 85282

(480) 777-5500

http://whymediate.solutions

Learning From Your Divorce Process

During the divorce process, spouses and your children often face a long list of stressful events: new living arrangements, parenting schedules, and of course, decisions about property and money. 

The stresses caused by these changes can make it difficult for spouses to understand the legal process of divorce, and may even impair their ability to make sound decisions. Getting through a divorce may be easier if you’re informed about the process before it begins. 

Obsessing about all of the bad things you feel were done to you by your spouse during your marriage will only prevent you from moving on with your life and making decisions that are in your family’s best interests. Ignore the past and focus on your future. Approaching divorce through a mediation process with a willingness to work with your spouse to achieve the best possible result for your family is the best path.

Most people think all divorces end up in court. In fact, there are alternative ways to resolve divorce cases. One method is “mediation” in which a mediator (neutral third party specially trained to work in divorce cases) facilitates face-to-face negotiations between divorcing spouses and helps them work out mutual agreements. The mediator will often recommend that each spouse consult with an attorney while the mediation process is proceeding. However, these consulting attorneys don’t attend mediation sessions.

Many life-changing decisions come up during a divorce. For example, you may have to determine whether to you need to sell the family home. Resist the impulse to make a quick decision just to get the case over with. When making important choices, it’s essential that you consider the potential consequences.

Learn to put your children’s emotional well-being in first place as you process your divorce.

Whenever you’re about to say something hurtful give yourself some time to think before you speak. A simple rule to follow is to count to ten before you answer a question or make a statement.

It’s easy to get wrapped up in the heat of the moment. However, saying cruel things to your spouse in the presence of your children can have a lasting effect. Psychological studies show that the more parents fight during a divorce, the more damaging the whole process is to the children.

In addition, unless there’s a history of abuse or neglect, your children will continue to have a relationship with their other parent. No matter how upset you are with your spouse, you should not try to discourage or interfere with a healthy parent-child bond.

At WHYmediate?, Find out if mediation can allow you to resolve Divorce conflicts in a positive learning environment that covers how to deal with all the special days in your life.

WHYmediate? Mediation Services
4500 South Lakeshore Drive Suite 300 
Tempe, AZ 85282 
(480) 777-5500
http://whymediate.solutions  

Divorce During The Social Media Era

Do you think there is a link between social media use and higher divorce rates? Some new research is suggesting that the two are related in at least some capacity.

A recent study compared divorce rates for each state to per capita Facebook accounts. A separate analysis looked at data from a 2011-12 survey asking people about their marriage quality and social media use.

The study discovered a link between social media use and a decrease in married life quality.

However, these results don’t necessarily mean social media use itself is to blame for marriages failing. There could be extraneous variables involved. For example, a disgruntled husband might log on to Twitter or Facebook more often to divert his mind from the arguments he has been having with his wife. However, it is apparent that social media’s influence in marriages, and divorce, is becoming more prevalent.

The study, published in the journal Computers in Human Behavior by researchers from Pontificia Universidad Católica de Chile and Boston University, compared state-by-state divorce rates to per-capita Facebook accounts. In a separate analysis, they also used data from a 2011-2012 survey that asked individuals about marriage quality and social media use.

The state analyses found that a 20 percent annual increase in Facebook enrollment was associated with anywhere from a 2.18 percent to a 4.32 percent increase in divorce rates depending on the model used. Similarly, the model from individual survey results predicts that someone who does not use social media is over 11 percent happier in his or her marriage than a heavy social media user.

The authors also hypothesized that social media's addictive qualities may expose or even create marital strife, promote an environment prevalent with opportunities for jealousy and may help facilitate extra-marital affairs.

Social media is evolving at an alarming speed, with smartphones replacing simple cell phones, offering a whole new world of fast, direct and discreet communication options. Serving as multimedia datacenters, smartphones manage every kind of relationship. Social media applications lower inhibitions and barriers, making it simpler than ever to find contact nearly anyone. Why make a phone call when you can send private message with a picture or video to better engage the recipient?

Many people within the divorce process have found that mediation rather than divorce court was a better solution.

At WHYmediate?, Find out if mediation can allow you to resolve Divorce conflicts in a positive learning environment that covers how to deal with all the special days in your life.

WHYmediate? Mediation Services
4500 South Lakeshore Drive Suite 300 
Tempe, AZ 85282 
(480) 777-5500
http://whymediate.solutions   

Divorce Can Lead To A New Life

The four of the most devastating words a spouse can hear are “I want a divorce.” Divorce can leave you depressed, lonely, financially strapped and wondering, What happens now?

What happens next has a lot to do with the type and manner of your divorce. Besides divorce court you can use mediation to start the next phase of your life.

Some experts feel that It usually takes about two years after a divorce to feel normal again. During those 24 months, there are ways that help both parties heal, including talking out feelings, taking classes and even to begin dating again.

What follows are some things to keep in mind as you process the changes in your life.

Let yourself grieve. The breakup of a marriage is similar to a death, so it’s natural to mourn the life and lifestyle you’ve lost – even if you wanted the split.

Learn to lean on your family and friends. Rely on those close to you to prevent you from doing anything stupid or rash, like drunk dialing your ex, slashing their tires, posting nasty things to Facebook or harassing the new person in their life.

Consider seeking professional support. Friends who’ll let you sob on their shoulders and sleep on their couch when you can’t face being alone are true treasures. But for figuring out how to jump-start your new life, it may be better to talk with a therapist or spiritual adviser.

Take it slow. Consider baby steps. It can be tempting to date someone new right away, if only to prove you’re still desirable. 

First, consider making new friends. After your divorce, you may feel like the odd person out in a paired-up world. In fact, your married friends may not want to spend as much time with you. That’s why you’ll need new single friends.

Get smart with your finances. Even if you paid the bills while you were married, get up to speed on money matters – fast. Here is one way to get started. Take city-college or adult-education classes in personal finance management.

Work on your bucket list. Or start one if you don’t already have your list. Sure, divorce creates a vacuum. But it also offers the opportunity to rediscover old – and new – interests that you let go when you were married.  

At WHYmediate?, Find out if mediation can allow you to resolve Divorce conflicts in a positive learning environment that covers how to deal with all the special days in your life.

WHYmediate? Mediation Services
4500 South Lakeshore Drive Suite 300 
Tempe, AZ 85282 
(480) 777-5500
http://whymediate.solutions