Divorce Can Lead To A New Life

The four of the most devastating words a spouse can hear are “I want a divorce.” Divorce can leave you depressed, lonely, financially strapped and wondering, What happens now?

What happens next has a lot to do with the type and manner of your divorce. Besides divorce court you can use mediation to start the next phase of your life.

Some experts feel that It usually takes about two years after a divorce to feel normal again. During those 24 months, there are ways that help both parties heal, including talking out feelings, taking classes and even to begin dating again.

What follows are some things to keep in mind as you process the changes in your life.

Let yourself grieve. The breakup of a marriage is similar to a death, so it’s natural to mourn the life and lifestyle you’ve lost – even if you wanted the split.

Learn to lean on your family and friends. Rely on those close to you to prevent you from doing anything stupid or rash, like drunk dialing your ex, slashing their tires, posting nasty things to Facebook or harassing the new person in their life.

Consider seeking professional support. Friends who’ll let you sob on their shoulders and sleep on their couch when you can’t face being alone are true treasures. But for figuring out how to jump-start your new life, it may be better to talk with a therapist or spiritual adviser.

Take it slow. Consider baby steps. It can be tempting to date someone new right away, if only to prove you’re still desirable. 

First, consider making new friends. After your divorce, you may feel like the odd person out in a paired-up world. In fact, your married friends may not want to spend as much time with you. That’s why you’ll need new single friends.

Get smart with your finances. Even if you paid the bills while you were married, get up to speed on money matters – fast. Here is one way to get started. Take city-college or adult-education classes in personal finance management.

Work on your bucket list. Or start one if you don’t already have your list. Sure, divorce creates a vacuum. But it also offers the opportunity to rediscover old – and new – interests that you let go when you were married.  

At WHYmediate?, Find out if mediation can allow you to resolve Divorce conflicts in a positive learning environment that covers how to deal with all the special days in your life.

WHYmediate? Mediation Services
4500 South Lakeshore Drive Suite 300 
Tempe, AZ 85282 
(480) 777-5500
http://whymediate.solutions