The Main Reason Divorce Happens

One question that is often asked is, what is the cause of divorce.  Why do marriages end? While many folks have a long list of reasons careful examination shows a simple base reason.  And that reason is… expectations that aren’t met. This may fall into that very old saying of “Happy Wife = Happy Life.”

Does your spouse get what they want out of your marriage? If they don’t get what they want why would you expect them to stay married to you?

OK, they is another reason that dovetails with this one. You do something that annoys the heck out of your spouse. 

Can a happy marriage really be that simple?  Like all things in life nothing is just black and white.  People are different. This brings up another old saying… “Different Strokes For Different Folks.”

Do you have reasonable expectations for your marriage? Are you expecting to live “Happily ever After?”

Do you talk to your spouse often enough? Do you talk too much? Really… have you ever asked to see if there is something you could or should be doing?  Would it surprise you to find something you do really annoys your spouse? It boils down to asking the right questions and only at the right time.

If you think that sexual infidelity is the leading cause of divorce, you've got it all wrong. A recent survey polled thousands of divorced women and to see what they say are the top reasons they decided to split, and, believe it or not, communication problems came out on top as the number one reason marriages fail. 

Somewhere in a marriage there is a subtle change in the intimacy department. One person has an off day, there is a misunderstanding or someone doesn't feel well. Then there's the idea that he isn't as romantic or she isn't as sexual.

Whoever is the one with the subtle change can trigger a downward spiral in the intimacy department. Men generally need sexual receptivity to feel romantic and women generally need romance to be sexual receptive. As long as both people are getting what they need, they willingly provide what the other person wants. However, when there is a lessening on either's part, that can trigger a pulling back in the other. If gone unnoticed and unchecked, before the couple realizes, they are seriously intimately estranged and wonder what happened. This can lead to divorce as couples begin to feel unloved and unappreciated. And we say again, does your spouse get what they want from the marriage?

If this comes too late to save your marriage please remember you do have options when considering exactly how you go about getting divorced.  Mediation may be the very best answer for you.

At WHYmediate?, we give you the tools you need to resolve your Divorce conflicts in a positive learning environment. 

WHYmediate? Mediation Services
4500 South Lakeshore Drive Suite 300 
Tempe, AZ 85282 
(480) 777-5500
http://whymediate.solutions