Divorce From a Psychological Point of View

The dissolution of a marriage is a legal act that may not always coincide with a couple's emotional tearing asunder. Divorce is typically a painful process for all concerned. While it can take adults time to regain psychological equilibrium, whether or not children ever recover a stable perspective continues to be debated. Post-divorce hostility between adults, in addition to directly harming kids, is a sure indicator that the emotional split is incomplete.

In the U.S., divorce rates have been rising since the beginning of the 20th century, and especially since the 1970s, when no-fault divorce was instituted. Some experts contend that the easing of divorce laws has helped make marriage stronger by rooting it more deeply in personal choice, although it does little to give people the skills needed to work out the inevitable difficulties that arise in marriage.

Keep in mind that at At WHYmediate?, we work to give you the tools you need to help resolve your conflicts in a positive learning environment.

Men:

For many men, a wife's request for a divorce is the first inkling that something is wrong with the relationship. Their perception is that it hits them out of the blue.

Truth is, such men just don't recognize the signs. Take one common pattern: A wife snipes at everything he does, but he never stops to ask why she's always angry. Women are often living their husband's emotional lives for them, protecting them, not expecting much of them, and then divorcing them for living up to those low expectations that they set.

For most males, that means recovering the sense of emotional connectedness they did not have as part of their upbringing, like learning how to take responsibility for contacting others and building their own supportive social network.

Although many men will almost instinctively try to isolate themselves, it's imperative that they get a push in the opposite direction. So such guys need to make contact with their own family of origin, from whom they often feel cut off. They also need guides for them to actively cultivate new friends.

Children:
Your children are having their own experience. Let them.

The two of you:
Did you start out friends? If your marital love was born out of a deep, abiding friendship, and your divorce rekindles that friendship, your children - and your own wellbeing - are blessed.

Root of all evil:
Having money and stuff to split is bad. Not having money or stuff to split is bad.

Whymediate?, making a difference through conflict resolution... one couple at a time.

WHYmediate? Mediation Services
4500 South Lakeshore Drive Suite 300
Tempe, AZ 85282
(480) 777-5500
http://whymediate.solutions