Stress and the Divorce Process

We all know that stress can be bad for your overall health. Very few things are as stressful as staying in a relationship that is wrong for you.

With all the pressures and worries we may have in our lives today, living with chronic stress may be the norm, not the exception. Now, what if you have to add divorce to that mix.

There are two types of chronic stressors with divorce situations. There are the “known” stressors: having to start over; making the decision to keep the house or move; the loss of the familiar life and lifestyle; paying high attorney bills; having less money to live on; holding your kid’s reaction to the divorce and not being able to tuck them in on a nightly basis.  

In divorce, what people don’t know can cause much greater fear and stress than what they do know. It’s a scary time indeed and the outcome is in the hands of the professionals you hire, how cooperative your some-day-ex will be as well as how the laws are interpreted and how well the courts view your position.

First and foremost you need to stop playing the blame game. Yes, bad things happen to good people! We all know this. But if you suddenly find yourself picking up the remnants of a broken relationship, the last thing you need to do is start the blame game. No woulda, shoulda’s or coulda’s can change the situation. We are subject to our own flawed human traits and, yes, a relationship that fails is caused by many different reasons. Learn from them and learn to move on.

If you are a newly single mom, there is a greater reason for avoiding the blame game. The children are watching how you handle the situation, and you need to show them that you can stay positive and move through the transition without remaining angry and stressed. The more you project a healthy perspective and develop a comfortable daily routine for your family, the better your children will react.

When we end a relationship, it is common to focus on the loss. You have lost a partner, and if left unchecked, you may begin to focus on your own loneliness and your diminished family. At this fragile time of transition, you need to network with friends and establish or re-establish friendships from the past. Healthy networking is important during this time.

When dealing with the emotional strains of a divorce, it is not unusual to want to become isolated. But relationships matter and becoming suddenly single does not mean you have to go through life alone. Going through a divorce can tear down even the strongest self-esteem.

At WHYmediate?, we give you the tools you need to help resolve your conflicts in a positive learning environment.

WHYmediate? Mediation Services
4500 South Lakeshore Drive Suite 300 
Tempe, AZ 85282 
(480) 777-5500
http://whymediate.solutions