As The Year Ends Does Your Relationship Need To?

Does that question… “As the year ends does your relationship need to?” hit too close to home? If you're in a romantic relationship or marriage, is there an event happening in your life right now that will motivate you to re-evaluate it and assess how well your current relationship satisfies your needs?

Consider these examples: a woman had causally dated a man for years and her partner had grown impatient and finally said to her, "Either let's commit to each other and get married, or end our relationship." Another person didn't spend much time in his relationship, always working or playing golf with his buddies. Now that his wife was very ill, he needed to accept greater responsibility for taking care of her. In another situation: After a two-year affair with a married man, a woman realized her relationship was never going to be more than an affair.

But sometimes, you are so deep in the trenches that you can’t even see the mess you are in until it is too late. When it comes to relationships, some of us have had the unfortunate but eye-opening experience of being in an extremely toxic one. Most likely, our first experience was enough to be our last, if we were lucky enough to learn from our mistakes and never get involved in one of those types again.

Do any of these sound familiar?

Whether it’s gambling, drugs, alcohol or something else, when your partner has become addicted to the point that it becomes a problem and is affecting your well being, or they have betrayed your trust, the relationship is doomed. If they do not wish to stop and continue their addictive behavior, then it would be in your best interest to leave.

Although our lovely media have made you believe lying is normal for men and women, it’s not normal for a healthy relationship. The most important thing that needs to be in place in order to have a real, deep and meaningful relationship with someone else is trust. If you can’t tell someone the truth and are constantly finding ways to avoid being in trouble, or avoid confrontation, then you should reconsider what you are doing.

Over time, people can begin to drift apart; interests change, goals change, and people begin to want to take a different path in life. If you are starting to feel this way towards your relationship, you MUST tell your partner the truth. It is unfair to keep dragging yourself and your partner along just because you are afraid to hurt someone’s feelings.

If your relationship is a marriage you can benefit from mediation when it comes to an end that will be safe, sane and beneficial to both partners. A simple phone call can start the process. 480-777-5500

At WHYmediate?, Find out if mediation can allow you to resolve all marital conflicts in a positive learning environment that covers how to deal with all the special challenges in your life.

WHYmediate? Mediation Services

4500 South Lakeshore Drive Suite 300

Tempe, AZ 85282

(480) 777-5500

http://whymediate.solutions

A New Start Must Begin Somewhere

I have always thought of Christmas time, when it has come round, as a good time; a kind, forgiving, charitable time; the only time I know of, in the long calendar of the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely, and to think of people below them as if they really were fellow passengers to the grave, and not another race of creatures bound on other journeys. 
~ Charles Dickens

At WHYmediate?, Find out if mediation can allow you to resolve all marital conflicts in a positive learning environment that covers how to deal with all the special challenges in your life.

WHYmediate? Mediation Services
4500 South Lakeshore Drive Suite 300 
Tempe, AZ 85282 
(480) 777-5500

http://whymediate.solutions

Divorce Expectations Meet Reality

It is fair to say that no divorce is sweet and rarely is it as amicable as hoped for. Many losses are experienced when ending a marriage, such as the loss of a home, security, finances, comfort, intimacy, just to name a few of the loses.

The good news is that there are some strategies that divorcing couples can learn in order to make their departure from the relationship as peaceful and stress-free as possible. By finding successful strategies to deal with the loss and pain, both partners can find an effective pathway to facilitate the process and end up with a peaceful outcome.

Mediation Is One Of The Best Strategies

At WHYmediate?, we give you the tools you need to resolve conflict in a positive learning environment. 

We believe in open communication – full disclosure of all possible issues, obstacles and solutions, sharing information, stories, experiences that will help you.

Use Mediation:
In making a difference in your life and the lives of all involved in the mediation process.

In contributing to your resolution and keeping you out of court.

In building trust by starting with your WHY to enhance communication.

In bringing a direct, honest and fresh approach to the table, sharing the most current skill set.

In collective brainstorming for best options and results.

In providing customized options – full or partial services for your specific needs.

Mediation can help you move forward in your lives, addressing critical or temporary issues on your agenda first and fast.

We can help you learn to deal with the emotional aspect of the breakup above all else. Divorce is a time of great emotional pain and enormous change. You may have done your utmost to save the marriage, only to have it result in a definite end. If you're finding it difficult to work through the changes and sense of emotional loss, it is vital to seek counselling from a neutral party, as this will help you deal with the loss of trust, respect and affection within the relationship.

Divorce professionals such as therapists, mediators and attorneys often believe that statements such as, "I've had it with him." or "My feelings have died for her," are indicators that the marriage is over. Most couples who begin a divorce are unprepared and are often not even on the same page when they begin. It is this lack of preparedness and readiness for a divorce that either causes marriages to end prematurely or divorces to deteriorate into competitive contests. The conclusion to obtain a divorce is one of the most crucial assessments a person can make with consequences that last for years or a lifetime. A decision this important requires much greater attention than it is usually given by both couples and professional mediators.

At WHYmediate?, Find out if mediation can allow you to resolve all marital conflicts in a positive learning environment that covers how to deal with all the special challenges in your life.

WHYmediate? Mediation Services
4500 South Lakeshore Drive Suite 300 
Tempe, AZ 85282 
(480) 777-5500
http://whymediate.solutions

Are Your Holiday Plans Going Well With Your EX?

I think the question of “Are Your Holiday Plan Going Well With Your ex-spouse?” is a very important question and more on point this time of year than any other. So do I need to ask that question again?

Is the gifts you are giving causing a problem or should I say problems? How about even the ability to be able to purchase the gifts your children want and deserve? What is happening with the schedule to have enough time and at the right place? Generally, these are the three main areas that can have challenges when trying to make holiday arrangements.

If you’re getting along well with your ex, it may make sense for the two of you to have one holiday gathering with your kids. But if there's any risk of conflict, it’s better for each parent to have a separate holiday celebration with the children.

Do you know a lot of people who have good relations with their former partner? If they got along well they would probably still be married.

Are you wondering how you will survive the upcoming holiday season with your ex-spouse as co-parents? For newly divorced individuals, life is often very chaotic. You need to settle into a new routine and heal your broken family. Often you, your ex-spouse, and your child/ren are feeling hurt, sad and insecure. But just because you are divorced, it doesn't mean that the holidays have to be a mess.

Often the best way to avoid problem with holiday planning was to address that through mediation as the divorce plan.  Agreements can be much less confrontational when done using mediation.

The easiest way to survive with your ex-spouse during the holidays as co-parents, is to stick to your co-parenting plan and keep your communication short, and have conversations related only to your child's needs during the different schedule specified on your plan throughout the holidays. After a lot of trial and error, we decided to no longer make it about our feelings for each other. The holiday was about making it special for our child. In learning how to do that, I found that the following 6 Tips helped me survive the holiday season harmoniously.

Even after a divorce you can use mediation to solve problems. Do you want to have to fight with everything you do with your children for the next many years?

At WHYmediate?, Find out if mediation can allow you to resolve all marital conflicts in a positive learning environment that covers how to deal with all the special challenges in your life.

WHYmediate? Mediation Services
4500 South Lakeshore Drive Suite 300 
Tempe, AZ 85282 
(480) 777-5500
http://whymediate.solutions

What Guardianship Rights Do Grandparents Have?

When parents are divorced, and the parent with custody dies, the law automatically transfers custody to the remaining parent. If you believe your grandchild's remaining parent is incompetent, you can file with the court for Guardianship, asking a judge to appoint you as your grandchild's guardian instead. Even if both of your grandchildren's parents are living, you can ask for guardianship. This step can also be achieved by using mediation.

The everyone must always put the best interests of the child first. If you can prove that the parent(s) is or are abusive or unfit, the court will put the interests of the child or children ahead of the parents' rights. 

The law surrounding grandparents’ rights is complicated. Plus, the facts of each case are unique. This article provides a brief, general introduction to the topic. For more detailed, specific information, please contact a mediator who is or has family law experience.

We are regularly asked what are a grandparent’s rights when they have been deprived of access to their grandchildren. The heartbreaking truth is that grandparents do not have an automatic right to contact with their grandchildren. However, family courts do recognize the invaluable role that grandparents play in their grandchildren’s lives and it is very rare that the court would refuse a grandparent access to grandchildren unless there is clear evidence of danger from abuse or violence.

In some cases, it is not a matter of guardianship but merely access. You can apply for a Contact Order through the court to gain access to your grandchildren. If one, or both parents raise objections you are likely to have to attend a full hearing in which both parties can put forward their evidence. It is essential that you receive good legal advice at this stage because you will need to persuade the court that you have a meaningful and on-going relationship with your grandchildren, which significantly benefits their lives.

Using mediation has helped many grandparents resolve disputes agreeably and gain access to their grandchildren.

You can make a phone call, write a letter or in some cases WHYmediate can contact your family directly for you. A simple phone call can start the process for you, 480-777-5500. At WHYmediate?, we give you the tools you need to resolve conflict in a positive learning environment.

WHYmediate? Mediation Services
4500 South Lakeshore Drive Suite 300 
Tempe, AZ 85282 
(480) 777-5500
http://whymediate.solutions

Mediations: The Best Solutions

Using the mediation process results in having practical strategies for resolving conflicts in your personal life and business ventures as well. Have you ever had what seems like a perfectly simple conversation? A conversation that you could not understand how you could possibly been misunderstood, and yet you find that much of the meaning was lost? Perhaps even taken 180 degrees differently than was your intent? That miscommunication is why using mediation can solve and resolve many conflicts that are the end result.

We can help you have collaborative interaction. And these tend to foster better long-term relationships through cooperative problem-solving and improved communication.

Without a mediator there are a number of ways to approach conflict management and resolution, which range from least to most coercive. Conflicts may be avoided, talked out, negotiated, arbitrated, adjudicated, resolved by legislation, by political action, or by violent force.

To many couples using mediation is a fresh, innovative approach to divorce that is healthy, family-centered, and affordable. Collaborative mediation offers a sensible alternative to the adversarial, two lawyer divorce system for divorcing couples who instead want to make their own decisions and stay in control of their family's future. One neutral mediator and a counseling professional work collaboratively with a divorcing couple to get them over legal, financial, and emotional hurdles to reach mutually acceptable agreements. With ninety-five percent of couples finding agreement on all their issues, collaborative mediation has proven to be the new divorce solution!

For a long time, mediation has been the proven way most divorcing couples resolve divorce and child custody disagreements. Mediation is typically the least expensive assisted consensual dispute resolution process available. Both spouses meet privately and confidentially with a neutral third party, the mediator, who has specialized training in facilitating communications, developing options, and negotiating agreements that work for everyone. The mediator's role is not to give legal advice or impose a decision, but instead to guide the parties to reach their own resolutions. Divorcing spouses make important decisions that fit their family and finances. Mediation avoids the unfortunate result of a judge or arbitrator deciding how much money each spouse will have and when they will see their children.

At WHYmediate?, Find out why mediation will allow you to resolve many different types of conflicts in a positive learning environment that covers how to deal with all the upcoming days in your life.

WHYmediate? Mediation Services
4500 South Lakeshore Drive Suite 300 
Tempe, AZ 85282 
(480) 777-5500
http://whymediate.solutions

LGBT Divorce? Consider Mediation Instead!

The extension of civil marriage, union, domestic partnership and now marriage rights to same-sex couples in various jurisdictions can raise legal issues upon dissolution of these unions that are not experienced by opposite-sex couples, especially if law of their residence or nationality does not have the same-sex marriage or partnerships relations.

Yes, these challenges are an untried concept to many folks on both sides of this relatively new area as these unions come to an end for some couples.

In jurisdictions where same-sex unions are not possible, also divorce or annulment may not be possible, while general conflict of law rules sometimes exclude divorce in the jurisdiction where the marriage was celebrated. In some jurisdictions divorce is possible, even if marriage is not possible.

When Delaware and Minnesota legalized same-sex marriage in May 2013, they gave their respective state courts the authority to conduct divorce proceedings in cases where a same-sex couple married in the state but neither party resides in a state that recognizes their marriage.

Same-sex couples attempting to divorce in Texas, which does not recognize the validity of same-sex marriages, have met with different results and two cases are pending before the Texas Supreme Court. Two women who had legally married in Massachusetts and moved to Florida are challenging that state's ban on same-sex marriages in order to divorce. The Florida litigants' petition for divorce was dismissed by the trial court, but they are appealing and the Family Law Section of the Florida Bar has moved to file an amicus brief in favor of the right to divorce by same-sex spouses.

The federal government's denial of recognition to same-sex marriages prior to United States v. Windsor meant that prior to 2013, the assets transferred in a divorce settlement were treated as gifts. Same-sex couples in states that deny them access to divorce may be able to end their legal relationship at greater cost by bringing a civil suit.

Using mediation as it relates to " LGBT Divorce" will save you money, time, aggravation, and stress plus give you more control over your situation.  You will also have the liberty of talking about things that a judge may not even have the authority to discuss!  The private mediation process is so much more flexible and informal that folks can communicate better. When you add our WHY discovery process to the mediation steps, you get to have all the learning, coaching and growth that accompanies our cutting edge process, along with your mediated settlement, and, all keeping you out of court and saving you even more time and money!

If you have question or concerns call WHYmediate to get the answers about specific conflict resolutions using mediation in the state of Arizona.

At WHYmediate?, Find out why mediation will allow you to resolve marital conflicts in a positive learning environment that covers how to deal with all the special days in your life.

WHYmediate? Mediation Services
4500 South Lakeshore Drive Suite 300 
Tempe, AZ 85282 
(480) 777-5500
http://whymediate.solutions

Holidays and Parenting Time

When marriages with children end visitation can become a real issue. Vacations and holidays can lead to one or both parents feeling they are not getting their fair share of “face-time” when it comes to the children and this can be even more added stress.

Setting solid and well thought out rules, guidelines and even exceptions well in advance can be the Solution(s) you need. At Whymediate we know how to get the two parents working together on the same page through creative mediation.

What is meant by “Parenting Time?” Parenting time, which is also referred to as physical custody or visitation, is the designation of time of when the child will be with each their parents. Generally, a specific schedule or parenting plan is appropriate so that each parent knows when parenting time starts and stops and allows for consistency for the child. It may even set aside where the visitations will take place and if any special conditions need to be met.

Raising children can have special challenges. When the parents live in separate homes, the challenges are greater because relationships become more complicated. Sometimes parents disagree about how much time children should spend with each parent.  A statewide committee of judicial officers, mental health providers, and attorneys created this planning guide after consulting with well‐known experts on child development and after reviewing current research and guidelines from other communities. Decisions about parenting time depend on many things, particularly the age of the child. This information about what a child learns, feels, and needs at different ages needs to be considered when setting up the guidelines for parenting time. It also provides suggested plans for each age group.

Using mediation as it relates to "Parenting Time" will save you money, time, aggravation, and stress plus give you more control over your situation.  You will also have the liberty of talking about things that a judge may not even have the authority to discuss!  The private mediation process is so much more flexible and informal that folks can communicate better. When you add our WHY discovery process to the mediations steps, you get to have all the learning, coaching and growth that accompanies our cutting edge process, along with your mediated settlement, and, all keeping you out of court and saving you even more time and money!

At WHYmediate?, Find out why mediation will allow you to resolve marital conflicts in a positive learning environment that covers how to deal with all the special days in your life.

WHYmediate? Mediation Services

4500 South Lakeshore Drive Suite 300

Tempe, AZ 85282

(480) 777-5500

http://whymediate.solutions

Paternity Rights And Responsibilities

Perhaps the best way to start this discussion is with a statement of fact. In the eyes of the law, paternity is the legal or biological relationship between a child and his or her biological parents. In nearly all cases the father is the one in question.. Paternity deals with the rights and obligations of both the biological or natural father and the child to each other as well as to others. A child's paternity may be relevant in relation to issues of legitimacy, inheritance and rights to a putative father's title or surname, as well as the biological father's rights to custody and obligations for child support.

A child born to a married woman during a marriage is presumed under common law to be the child of her husband by a "presumption of paternity" or presumption of legitimacy. In consideration of possibly mis-attributed paternity, these presumptions may be rebutted by evidence to the contrary, for example, in disputed child custody and child support cases during divorce, annulment or legal separation.

In the case of a father not married to a child's mother, a man may come forward and accept the paternity of the child in what is called a "voluntary acknowledgment of paternity", the mother or government can file a petition for a determination of paternity against a putative father, or paternity can be determined by the courts over time. Currently, when paternity is in dispute or doubt, DNA testing may be used to conclusively resolve this matter.

When a voluntary acknowledgment of paternity is arranged the amount of infighting is reduced considerably/ This step is mediation is the best way to bring the parties together in a more relaxed atmosphere.

Given the increased rate of divorced and unwed parents, many parents have begun to examine fathers' rights in child-rearing and family planning. Fathers' rights can include a father's right to parenting time with his children, the right to be consulted before adoption, and the right to time off from work to raise his child. You may also want to learn about the fathers' rights movement, proposals for family law reform, and notable fathers' rights legal cases.

If you have parental responsibility, your most important roles (among others) are to:

    provide a home for the child
    protect and maintain the child

If you have parental responsibility for a child you don’t live with, you don’t necessarily have a right to contact with them - but the other parent still needs to keep you apprised about their well-being and life progress.

At WHYmediate?, Find out why mediation will allow you to resolve marital conflicts in a positive learning environment that covers how to deal with all the special days in your life.

WHYmediate? Mediation Services
4500 South Lakeshore Drive Suite 300 
Tempe, AZ 85282 
(480) 777-5500
http://whymediate.solutions

Do You Need A Prenup?

A prenuptial agreement, commonly abbreviated to prenup or prenupt, is a contract entered into prior to marriage, civil union or any other agreement prior to the main agreement by the people intending to marry or contract with each other. The content of a prenuptial agreement can vary widely, but commonly includes provisions for division of property and spousal support in the event of divorce or breakup of marriage. They may also include terms for the forfeiture of assets as a result of divorce on the grounds of adultery; further conditions of guardianship may be included as well. It should not be confused with the historic marriage settlement which was concerned not primarily with the effects of divorce but with the establishment and maintaining of dynastic families.

In some countries, including Belgium and the Netherlands, the prenuptial agreement not only provides for the event of a divorce, but also to protect some property during the marriage, for instance in case of a bankruptcy.

Many countries, including Canada, France, Italy, and Germany, have matrimonial regimes, in addition to, or some cases, in lieu of prenuptial agreements. Postnuptial agreements are similar to prenuptial agreements, except that they are entered into after a couple is married.

Unless you do listen to the news you know that Rupert Murdoch has divorced his wife, Wendi. And if you have heard any details about the split, you also know that the couple probably has a prenup.

Prenuptial agreements are common among the financial elite, like the Murdochs, for good reason: When they divorce, the settlements can be astronomical. Murdoch knows this all too well, since the cost of his divorce from his second wife, Anna, reportedly topped out at $1.7 billion. 

Very few people have that much of a financial risk, but if you want to protect your current assists a prenuptial agreement may be a necessary part of your marriage plans. Often, the people seeking out prenups are people who have been burned in a previous divorce. They may want to head off a costly settlement, or protect the interests of children from a past marriage, or both. People who have been through a bad divorce have more moral needs to negotiate.

At WHYmediate?, Find out why mediation will allow you to resolve marital conflicts in a positive learning environment that covers how to deal with all the special days in your life.

WHYmediate? Mediation Services
4500 South Lakeshore Drive Suite 300 
Tempe, AZ 85282 
(480) 777-5500
http://whymediate.solutions