Many books and articles on the subject assume that once a couple says they want a divorce, they are truly ready for it. However, that's often not the case. In fact, usually, when couples begin the divorce process, either one or both partners are not really ready at all. Are You On The Quest To Find Mr. Right?
Divorce professionals including therapists, mediators, and attorneys often take statements like, "I've had it with him," or "My feelings for her have died," as indications that the marriage is already over. Attorneys mistakenly equate being hired with an indication that the couple is ready to divorce. But most couples who begin divorce proceedings are unprepared, causing marriages to end prematurely and divorces to deteriorate into competitive contests. Who Are We Running Away From?
If the marriage is not working for both of you, it’s not working. That’s true for marriage or any other relationship. Women tend to put their needs on the back burner and do what it takes to make their husbands happy, especially once children come along. But marriage is relationship, which means it needs to work for both of you. If it’s not, it’s time to do something different. This might mean divorce, but don’t jump there immediately. The first step is getting honest with yourself about what you want. Becoming more authentic and voicing your needs might change things for the better.
Try everything you can before divorcing. It’s better to try now than to subject yourself to “what ifs” down the road. What have you got to lose? One major situation to keep in mind is; if you or your children are in physical danger, don’t keep trying. This is a safety first issue! If you’ve tried everything and nothing’s changed, now you have your answer.
Sometimes physical symptoms or signals can send messages that our rational minds can’t hear. I recently heard a talk about how a woman would break out in hives whenever she kissed her former husband. That’s a pretty obvious symptom. You might not have anything that obvious, but you can still use your body as your guide.
When you are really ready for a divorce you need to know your options for ending the marriage. Divorce court is only one option and a much better one for you maybe one you haven’t even heard of… mediation.
At WHYmediate?, Find out if mediation can allow you to resolve Divorce conflicts in a positive learning environment that covers how to deal with all the special days in your life.
WHYmediate? Mediation Services
4500 South Lakeshore Drive Suite 300
Tempe, AZ 85282
(480) 777-5500
http://whymediate.solutions
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