Is Your Decision to Divorce A Mutual One?

In some cases, the decision to divorce is mutual. Both the husband and wife come to the conclusion, more or less at the same time, that the marriage has no true future. For other couples, the decision is more of a one-sided realization. One spouse decides that a divorce is necessary, while the other spouse is unprepared for, or even opposed to, the concept of ending the marriage.

The mutual story of this divorce could sound similar to this: “We have not been happy with each other for some time. It seems that we have grown apart and have very different interests now. We don’t make each other happy living together and, as you know, we just fight when we are around each other, and we know that you kids really hate that. We have decided that we will both be better off living apart. The fighting will stop, and we each will be happier living separately.”

Are you still in what might be called the deliberation phase? This is the period of time between which the idea of divorce initially surfaces and the time when divorce is finally implemented. Often, the background of this stage is some form of stressful circumstance for one or both parties, such as a loss of a good job, health or money problems. The more stress there is, the more likely it will impact on the marriage. While individuals are in the midst of this phase, they rarely understand it. 

Mediation during or just after the deliberation phase can give you the tools you need to resolve your conflicts in a positive learning environment. Your guided mediation process to resolve your conflict and move you from WHY? to YES! Stay out of court; avoid the legal fees associated with high court costs and still resolve your conflict!

Terminating a period of attachment that may span many years is frequently difficult and may, in some cases, may feel like it is impossible. Viewing their life as inextricably interwoven with that of their ex-partner, they may see half of themselves and their life as terminating with divorce, a perception of death from which they may never recover. 

"No-fault" divorce does not seem to make it easier. The parties inevitably see one party more responsible than the other. "Fault" lives on, at least beyond the legal point of view.

As a general rule, children going through a divorce need three things from their parents: 

First, both parents need to maintain the best possible continuing parenting relationship with the child, regardless of the level of hostility or separation between the parents. 

Second, both parents must not draw the children into the dispute. In other words, do not fight in front of or around the children, and do not try to convince the children of the righteousness of one parent's particular. 

Third, each parent needs to support the other parent's positive and continuing good relationship with the children.  

At WHYmediate?, Find out if mediation can allow you to resolve Divorce conflicts in a positive learning environment that covers how to deal with all the special days in your life.

WHYmediate? Mediation Services
4500 South Lakeshore Drive Suite 300 
Tempe, AZ 85282 
(480) 777-5500
http://whymediate.solutions