Many people think that “Divorce” is a solution in and of
itself. While divorce can solve many situations in your life it may need
additional help to really “fix” the things that are at the root of the
problems.
At WHYmediate?, we give you the tools you need to resolve your
conflicts in a positive learning environment.
Divorce is too multifaceted a process to produce simple
winners and losers results. People adapt in many different ways, and these
patterns of adjusting transform over time.
For most people, those who divorced and even those who
divorced and remarried were not happier than those who stuck with their
marriages. About half of all divorces come from marriages that are not
experiencing high levels of conflict; individuals from these marriages
generally experience a decrease in happiness over time.
When individuals end high-conflict marriages, however, they
do increase their happiness, on average.
If you have any relationship that isn’t working, you have
something to do with it. At the minimum, you are fighting the truth of the way
the other person is.
This conflict destroys the experience of love. The other
person then gets hurt and gives the hurt back to you. Then you get more upset
at the other person. Then the other person gets more defensive and becomes even
more upset at you.
Without knowing, you create a cycle of conflict, a cycle of
hurting, attacking, and withdrawing from each other. This cycle then goes on
and on without either person ever noticing his or her role in the problem.
Divorce is seldom about who leaves the toothpaste tube cap
off or toilet seat up, but about deep seated conflicts. Not all conflicts can be resolved and
that is, generally, what starts you down the path to the dissolution of your marriage.
When you cling to someone, you actually may push them away.
The person feels suffocated and has to fight for breathing room. Just look at
how you feel when someone hangs on to you. Once you are willing to lose
someone, that person no longer needs to avoid you.
This can be the last stage that either saves the marriage
or allows it to move forward to conflict resolution regardless of the path.
Should You Stay or Should You Go!
At WHYmediate?, Find out if mediation can allow you to resolve
Divorce conflicts in a positive learning environment that covers how to deal
with all the special days in your life.
WHYmediate? Mediation Services
4500 South Lakeshore Drive Suite 300
Tempe, AZ 85282
(480) 777-5500
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