Celebrating Mother’s Day Following A Divorce

Mother’s Day, a special time for families to express how much love and appreciation they have for their mothers, but this day can also stir up mixed emotions if a family is dealing with following your divorce. Planning for Mother’s Day after divorce can cause stress or tension between parents and other family members, yet this is a great day to show your kids that even if parents are not together, everyone acknowledges and respects Mom’s role in your family.

If you're divorced and your children aren't scheduled to be with you because Mother's Day has been overlooked in your agreement, try negotiating with your ex, there's Father's Day to offer as an even exchange. If he agrees, then unless you want to be negotiating this every year.

When you're juggling all the legalities of your divorce, you might be tempted to just sit out this holiday ... but don't! Holidays and commemorations are important rituals and they're part of what makes a family. Think about how many of your own memories about your family are centered around an event. Recreating these traditions after divorce is an important part of reassuring your children that you are still a family.

If your ex isn't agreeable to an exchange of parenting time or it's not possible because of other commitments, don't give up on celebrating the day. Look for a day when your children will be with you and you can deem to be Mother's Day. Don't worry that it isn't the actual Mother's Day. Chances are, it won't be the only occasion you'll have to celebrate on an alternate date—it's bound to happen on your birthday and even your children's birthdays at some point. And as your children get older and their activities increase, conflicting schedules will become a fact of life.

Make your plans well in advance. It's important to be prepared in advance of Mother's Day and Father's Day. Agreement on how to handle these days can be included as part of your parenting plan. If at all possible, it's great when the children can spend at least some time with the parent who has the special day happening. Don't leave who's going to be where with whom until the last minute.

Negotiating after the fact with a former spouse is never easy, but you can gain a lot of cooperation in the long-term by being willing to reciprocate. One good turn deserves another. If the children are scheduled to be with their Dad on Mother's Day, ask if you can arrange a switch or at least a part of the day that the kids can be with Mom. Offer to reciprocate in kind when Father's Day rolls around.

In any case at WHYmediate? We wish you have a happy and joyous Mother’s Day!

At WHYmediate?, Find out if mediation can allow you to resolve Divorce conflicts in a positive learning environment that covers how to deal with all the special days in your life.

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