Monday, May 18, 2015

Divorce and Domestic Violence

Domestic violence is defined as abuse by one partner against the other in a marriage or other intimate relationship. Pushing, shoving, hitting, sexual assault, and other forms of physical attack are all forms of domestic abuse; so are stalking, intimidation, isolating a partner from others, withholding money, and, of course, emotional abuse of all kinds. 

Divorce can also be a triggering event for domestic violence. In fact, the danger of serious violence is at its highest point when a person acts on a decision to leave an abusive relationship. Learn how to be as safe as you can when you leave an abusive relationship, about restraining orders, and about divorce and domestic violence.

If you are in an abusive relationship, your first priority is very simple: Get yourself and your children to safety. Statistics show that the most dangerous time for women living with batterers is the point at which they leave the relationship. (The vast majority of battered spouses or partners are women, but if you are a battered man, all of this advice applies to you as well.) This means that you will need to find housing somewhere that the abuser can’t find you -- a battered women’s shelter, a hotel, or the home of a friend that the abuser doesn’t know. Don’t go to your parents’ house, your best friend's house, or somewhere else that he’s likely to look for you.

If you have time to plan, start putting aside cash -- again, preferably somewhere other than your house. Leave some clothes and important items with a friend in case you have to leave your house quickly. And start documenting every incident of physical or emotional abuse in your household, whether it involves you or your kids. Make a note of the date and time the incident occurred, and exactly what happened.

You should also prepare to take important papers with you. Having the right documents will help you take legal action or apply for benefits after you leave. Information that you should take with you and keep safe:

    Your credit cards and checkbook
    All social security cards
    Birth certificates
    Proof of income for you, such as pay stubs or copies of W-2 forms
    Copies of bank or credit card statements if you cannot easily access them online, and
    Documentation showing abuse, including photos, police reports and medical records.
    Copies of deeds, leases, and insurance policies

Consider using mediation as the process for your divorce action.

At WHYmediate?, Find out if mediation can allow you to resolve Divorce conflicts in a positive learning environment that covers how to deal with all the special days in your life.

WHYmediate? Mediation Services
4500 South Lakeshore Drive Suite 300
Tempe, AZ 85282
(480) 777-5500

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